Why I'm a Terrible Mom

The internet is a scary place and it can really make you feel like you're not adding up.  It's easy to feel like a crappy parent as it is, let alone when Pinterest is whispering in your ear that your craft isn't cool enough and your dinner isn't fancy enough.  So here's the list of why I'm a crappy parent.

I play on my phone too much when I clearly need to be engaged with my children every second they are conscious.  How will they ever get any self-esteem?

I make them a separate dinner.  I love grilled shrimp.  Isabella hates it because it looks like a "slime booger."  So instead of a battle, she eats macaroni and cheese...from a box.  Everyone's happy.

I don't make crafting a regular thing.  I used to do tons of crafts with Isabella, but with the baby and work and keeping up with the house crafts are more of a "special occasion" kind of thing.  And my crafts never turn out pretty like on Pinterest.  I don't really care.  Sometimes she likes it better when I just put out some paints and paint brushes and she can go to town.  Easy for me and fun for her.

We watch TV.  I used to feel guilty about this.  I've "Let it Go" "Let It Go" a million times over.  TV saves my mornings and sometimes my sanity.

Sometimes I enjoy being around the baby more than Isabella.  That sounds awful, but think of it for a second.  The one year old can't whine, beg, or tell me that my hair looks "awkward."  She doesn't fight me to get dressed, she eats whatever I put in front of her, and lights up when I enter the room.  I love them both the same, but sometimes Isabella is a much bigger pain in the butt.

You know what?... I don't really care, not even a little bit.

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Where Are You Spring?

There's been whispers of Spring's approach.  A day of sunshine.  A warm breeze.  A budding bloom.  But basically it's been really really cold and really really rainy.

I am so sick of winter.  I'm done.  Done with sweaters.  Done with boots.  Done with snow.  Done with hats and gloves and scarves.  Done. Done. Done.  This winter has been brutal, with snow storm after snow storm after ice storm after hail storm.

I can't wait to change over my wardrobe from drab winter colors into bright and sunny Spring colors.  I'm ready for color, this coming from the woman whose closet looks like it's going to a funeral.  And it's not only me, poor Isabella is growing out of her clothes at such a rate that her sweat pants are starting to look like the capri pants I'm longing for, but I don't want to spend any more money on winter clothes.

I see all the girls pretty floral sundresses, capri pants, and t-shirts and I just can't wait to see them wear them.  I want to go to the zoo, the park, have BBQ's, go for walks, watch Isabella ride her bike, eat outside, and just go without having to bundle up two kids.

I know it's coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get!

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Every So Often

I'm not what you would call a sentimental mother.  I've seen women reduced to tears at the mere thought of packing away newborn clothes.  I've always felt a bit out of place in that respect because while there are pro's and cons of each stage, I've always been eager to see what the next stage of development will bring.

Newborn
Pros:  squishy and little and snuggly
Cons: needs to feed every hour

Mobile
Pros:  can sit up and crawl and play and is just so loving their place in the world
Cons: wants to put everything in their mouth, tries to stick their fingers in electrical sockets

Toddler
Pros: can officially be bribed/reasoned with, can do fun things in public
Cons: opinionated and psychopathic

Preschooler
Pros: So fun and independent and smart.  Enjoy spending time together
Cons:  stubborn and fresh

I have no idea what comes next, but I'll keep you posted.

Anyway...I really enjoyed Arya as a newborn, mostly because I knew it was fleeting.  I'd experienced how fast it passes first hand with Isabella.  I didn't intend to waste those fleeting moments lamenting for more sleep and pining for more "me" time.  I knew it would come.  But even though I knew she was my last, I still enjoyed it, but was ready for the next stage when it was time.  I love when they get more independent, can engage more, and interact more.

But every so often I see a pregnant woman's belly and I get nostalgic for the sweet seed of life kicking inside me.  Every so often I see Arya looking more like a kid and less like a baby and it takes my breath away.  Every so often I think about what it's going to be like when my littles are big and don't need me anymore.  Will I feel sad?  Nostalgic?  Free?

I don't know.  All I can do is enjoy each stage as it comes and embrace the ones to come.

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Disney World

I have a foggy memory of the summer.  Isabella had just turned four and Arya was but a wee blob of a baby.  "Mommy, can we go back to Disney World?"  Isabella's tiny voice asked.  Andy just laughed and said, "We have no money, go and ask grandpa!"

He was clearly joking, but Grandpa said yes!  We decided to go during my Easter recess (one of the most crowded times I know, but the only other option was summer break and the last time we went around the Fourth of July it was a sauna).  I remember thinking that it would be so much fun at Disney World with an almost 5 year old and an almost one year old.

Now I have an almost one year old and I'm a little worried about the fun part!

Not that Arya isn't great...she totally is, but she's really into crawling all over the place, putting everything in her mouth, and being generally displeased with the word "no".

I looked up all sorts of fun things for babies to do at DW and she can do tons of stuff, ride a lot of rides, see a lot of shows, cry and meltdown, be shuttled around for naps.

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed at the amount of laundry I have to do.  Laundry by nature is a fucking bitch because unless you do it completely naked you're never really done. Since the weather here varies between freezing ice cold and tolerably frigid, I have to wash all of my spring and summer clothes.  All of Andy's spring and summer clothes.  Plus spring and summer clothes for both little girls.  Plus whatever crappy winter clothes that we have to still wear because it's never getting warm...ever!

Then there's the plane ride.  Isabella's a non-issue because she really is such a good girl and I could throw on Frozen on repeat and she'd be quiet all damn day.  It's that little one that's going to give us a run for our money.  Grandma better pull her weight on this trip.

All in all we're going to have a magical time.  DW is the best place ever.  The first time I took Isabella there she was just a smidge over two and I remember standing on Main Street with tears streaming down my cheeks because I was so in awe and so emotional over seeing all that magic and reliving my own childhood through her that I couldn't contain my joy...so I cried...like a baby...in front of a million tourists.

It's going to be epic.

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Fotor Photo Editor

Fotor is a free online photo editor that allows you to edit a photo, make a collage, create cards and other super fun stuff!  It's really easy and simple to use.  Using Fotor's photo editor you can resize photos, crop them, adjust the lighting, adjust tones and colors, and that's just the simple stuff.  You can also play around with different effects and photo frames.

You can also make sure you look your best with photo retouching.  You can use the blemish remover to remove any unwanted spots, use the wrinkle remover to make yourself look youthful, remove red eye, whiten your teeth...all for free!

An even cooler feature is the ability to add photo text.  Go online, edit your photo, and add some really cool text to it.  It's perfect for thank you notes, invitations, and cards.

There's even an app for that.  Fotor app is available for iPhone and Android phones as well so you can edit your photos on the go.

So when you're choosing sites to edit your photos use the completely free online photo editor Fotor.

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