Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mommy Naked

Don't be fooled by the title of this post, I didn't have another public nip slip. I'm talking about being honest about motherhood and the insecurities that come along with it. Now let me get something out first, I'm not writing this post to shit glitter all over mommyhood. Obviously I love my daughter, this is just not a post about how I could spend 2 hours staring at her tiny toes (I've done this), this is just a realistic view about some of the things I personally feel insecure about or things I didn't expect. I feel like there's so much pressure to be the "perfect mom" in the eyes of others and that women are so afraid of being judged by other mother's that they put on a facade and try to act like they have it all together and know it all, when they have their head up their ass like the rest of us.


So here goes, I'm going to be mommy naked here. I get so paranoid when I take her out, like to IHOP or BRU, that she's going to start wailing and I'm not going to be able to comfort her and I'm gonna get the side-eye from strangers. Sometimes when she's fed and changed and cuddled and she's still crying I feel so incompetent that I can't comfort her and I don't know what she needs. At 3 am when I start to hear her whimpering, I say a prayer that she just goes back to sleep. I pray very hard. This prayer is never answered. I hate changing diapers. It's my least favorite motherhood task. I'll pawn it off on anyone who will take it.

Well that's it for now. I'm sure my list of worries and woes will continue to grow as she does.

2 comments:

mtendere said...

Thank you for your honesty! Hang in there - it sounds like you're doing a great job. I hope you'll continue to post about your full experience of motherhood.

Sarah and Phil said...

This is the stuff we need to hear! Thanks for the reality check :)

~Sare

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