Sunday, December 13, 2009

Lonely Only?

A friend of mine recently asked me when Andy and I planned on having another baby. Once I quit choking on my hummus I really started to think about it. Do I even want another baby? I had always assumed that I would want to have a decent sized family, two or three kids. However, after experiencing motherhood first hand and remembering how difficult those first few months were, I'm not sure I want to go through that again.

It's difficult to imagine having Isabella out of diapers, sleeping in a bed, able to walk and talk and then starting all over again. It also feels like our little family is so complete. Plus, Isabella is such a demanding little thing, my little dictator, do I really need another boss? Additionally, I didn't love being pregnant. Some women do. I didn't.

On the other hand I don't want Isabella to be lonely. I grew up so close to my sister. We're still best friends. Although, my brother and I barely speak. But I don't want to have another child solely as a playmate for Isabella. I hate when people use this argument. Having a baby should not be because you want to give a present to your child.

I mentioned my thinking to Andy and he laughed. He told me that infancy was still to fresh in my mind to make a rational decision and that we didn't have to decide right now. Even if I do decide to have another, it won't be for years. I need to forget the sleepless nights and projectile vomiting and I need to save a bit more money as these little buggers are quite expensive.


Neuffj said...

HA HA, having a baby for a present to your lil one! Thats sick!

mtendere said...

Your husband is right, you don't need to decide right now. You'll know if and when the right time to think about another little one. I know we originally talked about having ours close together, but I don't know now. Being a mom is hard work!

ZDENNY said...

Have another one! Your child will love it

A man named Finite awoke and found himself in a sinkhole full of quick sand. He was sinking very slowly and knew that he would meet certain death.

A man came along who had holes in his hands. The man threw Finite a rope and told him to grab it and he would pull him to safety.

Finite looked at the holes in the man's hands and said, “Your not real.” “It is not scientifically possible for a man to live who has holes in his hands.

The man with the holes in his hands looked at the guy a little puzzled and said, “You are in a sinkhole and about to die. Your response to my help is to say I’m not real?”

Finite said, “Well, I like how warm the sand is and I really don’t want to get out. Second, I know I am having an illusion because it is not possible for a man to have holes in his hands and still help me out.” Therefore, morally I like my plight and scientifically, you don’t exist being a mere projection of my mind.

The man with the holes in his hands said, “Listen, I was sent here by my father to help people out so please let me help you! I will take you to my father’s mansion where you can enjoy life for eternity. Obviously, death was not able to hold me in the grave because the holes in my hands are proof that I overcame death. I now have the power to save you so grab the rope!”

Finite put his fingers in the ears and said, “Now I know I am hearing things because there is no such thing as eternal life…Everyone dies so I am going to take my turn and just enjoy this warm sand until the end.”

The man with the holes in his hand said, “If you won’t grab the rope, then I won’t be able to help you…please, please take the rope and I can pull you out. Have faith my friend.”

A few moments later Finite sunk into the quick sand and out of sight. Finite was surprised that he did not die as expected. He just sat there surrounded by sand, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to talk with his fingers in his ears. Finite tried to comfort himself by thinking, “I would rather stay here for eternity than believe that the man with the holes in His hand could help me. Faith in that mirage is irrational!!

So Finite sat in the quicksand for eternity. Day in and day out for eternity Finite was always thinking about the man with the holes in his hands. He would comfort himself thinking, “It was better to not have faith than to believe something that didn’t make sense.”

The man with the holes in His hands continued to call him for the rest of eternity; however, Finite could not hear his voice because he had plugged his ears.

The Lesson

If you are not with Christ, you will be thinking about Christ for eternity anyway... so have faith.

mommalilone said...

I just had my 2nd baby and stumbled upon your post. It took us 3.5 years to have our second child. I couldn't have thought about it when my first was under a year old. I didn't enjoy pregnancy and got really sick at the end. I couldn't imagine my life without my little girls. They are so different already. I knew I wanted to have 2 children and am so blessed and so lucky to have what I have.

lifeissweet16 said...

I was an only and was never lonely. I related well to adults and I think being an only, I matured a little faster just because I had to. But I also formed VERY close bonds with my friends because I had to. I have the same friends for 20 years or more.

I will say that as I get older and my parents age, it's a little overwhelming to know I won't have anyone to share the responsibility if and when they need care. It's morbid, but it's a real issue.

w said...

i have two girls. and i love it.

in fact, i'd be willing to have more more more babies. if i didn't have to be pregnant. or birth them.

also. i'm an only child. but i was never lonely. and i grew up almost semi normal.

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