Things That Grind My Gears

Since I'm so crabby today (huge work load, lots of traffic, and a still congested baby) I've decided to unload here all of the, unrelated, things that get under my skin.

When waiters try to be all cool and don't write down your order and then mess everything up and forget your side of Honey Mustard dressing. Write it down! Don't be a hero.

Sandals with socks. I'm assuming here I don't need to elaborate.

When Andy tries to be the boss of me. "Take a shower now so we can watch TV" "Can you make dinner now because I'm really hungry" "Put the book down so we can talk". I'm the boss of me!

When people fish for compliments. You know you're skinny/pretty/smart/funny, no need to pretend otherwise. Own it.

People who have babies that consistently sttn. Yeah, I'm a bit bitter but I'm working on it.

Those people who stand in the middle of the mall and try to get you to buy some magic potion that came out of the Dead Sea. I'm not interested in your hokey pokey skin junk or your nail buffer.

When I explain the directions to an assignment to my third graders 5 times in explicit detail and then one kid raises his/her hand and says, "What am I supposed to do?" You're supposed to listen to me the first 5 times!

I feel better now.

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Reflexes

Ok, so there are some reflexes that babies are born with that help them survive, like the sucking reflex, I get it. There also born with the startle reflex, which I'm sure serves some purpose in the greater scheme of things, but all it seems to me to do is wake up a perfectly sweet sleeping baby. But I bet you may not have known that babies are born with other reflexes too, although you may not find them in any textbook.

There's the "Out of Arms" reflex. This is when your baby is just about ready to go to sleep in your arms or is already in a deep sleep and you ever so gently place him or her into the crib and their eyes fly wide open. I live in fear of this reflex.

Don't forget the "Sitting Down" reflex. This is when your baby fusses every time you sit down but coos and giggles as soon as you stand up. It doesn't matter how you hold them or rock them, if you're sitting down that baby is pissed off. Why do babies care if you're sitting or standing? As long as you're playing with them or soothing them it shouldn't matter.

Then there's the "Dinner's Ready" reflex. This is when the baby starts to cry or fuss or become hungry the second that dinner is ready and you sit down to eat. You may also know this reflex as the "Just Sat Down" reflex or the "Just Got Undressed to Get In the Shower" reflex or "Starting to Blog" reflex.

And finally there's the "I'll Make a Liar Out of You" reflex. This is when you proudly tell a stranger how your baby never spits up and then she spits up all over the place. Or when you complain to your mother how difficult it is to get the baby down for a nap when she promptly konks out.

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You Know You're a Mom When...(2nd Edition)

• You have a winter bush in the summertime (my lady bits are a hot mess right now).
• When faced with the decision to take a shower or go to bed 15 minutes earlier, sometimes early to bed wins out. This means that somedays I go to work dirty and stinky.
• You've worn your hair in a ponytail for the past month and now your head has a dent in it.
• You won't wear any of your nice clothes because they'll just wind up drooled/spit up/or pooped on.
• You can't finish a blog post because you're interrupted by cries...gotta go.

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My E-Friends

Well over a year ago (almost a year and a half if my foggy brain serves me right), when Andy and I first started TTC I happened upon the GP message board on The Bump and met some of the most awesome girls that I've ever had the privilege of knowing, IRL or otherwise. Over the past year we've shared so many aspects of our lives, getting pregnant, surviving pregnancy, going through labor, and having our babies (for the most part), but not only that. We've talked about our husbands, friendships, work, we've never met but I want to take a minute to tell each one of them why they are so special to me, because they deserve it.

Bee- We were BFPB and we basically went through our entire pregnancies together. I know that whatever question I have you always have an answer for me, because you're so stinking smart. You're so sweet and I always feel comfortable to vent to you.

Pink- I love how you always keep it real and have no problem telling it how it is. I admire how open you are. I love that I can complain about Teacher's College to you.

Lea- I admire your honesty and your strength. You went through a lot with your pregnancy and delivery with Brody Bear but you kept your sense of humor and I think that a lot of other women might not have. I think we would have a blast if we hung out IRL.

Kit- You are snarky and spunky and I love you. You've overcome so much and often when I'm at my lowest I think of how you kept your shit together and I keep on trucking.

Lady- You're just so pretty! But also very sweet and funny. You can always make me laugh. I always think that you're such a genuine person.

R's- You saved my nipple from Facebook! I owe you big time. I think you're super smart and witty. I give you a lot of credit for working, going to law school, and being a mommy. I know it can't be easy but you really seem to handle it with grace. Now get your ass back on the ship b/c I miss you!

Jessie- I think you're super loyal and very sweet. You are very thoughtful when it comes to cards and little gifts. It's always nice to hear from you.

Abc- It's been a rough road sometimes but I'm glad that I know you. You're very strong willed and I couldn't be happier that you're KTFU!

And as an aside, my blogger friend Neuffj gave me a very sweet award so go check her out http://neuffj.blogspot.com/

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My Poor Baby Is Sick

So for the past couple of days Isabella has been really out of sorts, crying, not napping well and waking up a lot at night. She doesn't usually cry a lot, except when she's tired or hungry. It's very rare that she screams for most of the day. I just assumed that it was either a growth spurt or that God was getting back at me for cheating on my science test in third grade (sorry about that), but Saturday night I could hear how congested she would and she wouldn't sleep more then 30 minutes on her back so I let her sleep upright on me that night while I kind of slumped on the couch.

Sunday morning she was still really congested and really cranky so we called the doc and the one I don't like in the practice wound up calling back (maybe that was my payback for my third grade cheating), but whatever she told us what to do, which unfortunately wasn't a whole lot. I was expecting her to tell us to rush right into the dr's office and she would give us some miracle medicine that would make my poor, congested, crying baby be comfortable again.

But no, we were told to buy saline drops, baby vicks, prop up the mattress with a crib wedge or a pillow, sit in a steamy bathroom for 15 minutes, and try to help her get as much sleep as possible (I should've given her a link to my blog because I almost laughed when she said this).

Isabella DOES NOT like saline drops up her nose and I can't say that I blame her. But she's in better spirits and she's getting some solid sleep at night and a few decent naps. The doc said it should clear itself up in 7-10 days and in the meantime I should look out for a fever and ear pulling.

Hopefully this will pass soon.

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3 Months Old

My baby girl is 3 months old today. We may be going through a rough patch, but my gosh is she beautiful! There's so much that I've learned and things have changed so much.

Sleep

She's gone from sleeping 3 hours at a stretch at night to 6-10 hours a stretch. Marvelous. She's still a crappy napper, but I'm working on it. I've learned how to function on much less sleep which is amazing to me. I no longer feel like a zombie.

Eating

My little chunker has gone from drinking 1.5 ounces to 5 ounces! She's sadly gone from breast milk with a formula supplement to only formula. This change is something I'm not happy about but since I'm out of the house 11 hours a day for work my supply plummeted. She's doing well though and she's happy so that's all a Mom can ask for.

Clothing

All of her Newborn and 0-3 months have sadly been put away, either to save for baby #2 (if we decide to ever have another one) or for hand-me-downs or donations. She's in 3-6 now. It's not too bad though, her Fall and Winter wardrobe is fabulous.

Playtime

She's much more active during her awake periods now. She smiles and coo's and plays. She loves when I make silly faces and cracks up at the book Goodnight Moon. She loves gym time. Tummy time is still her mortal enemy though. She refuses to do it. She just lays her head down and kicks her feet. Stubborn little girl!

I can't wait to see what the next month brings.

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Polly Pissy Pants

That's Isabella's new nickname. I get glowing reports from my Mom and Andy all day, but the second I walk through the door it's fuss pot city. From what I read, babies have a fussy time in the day and hers just happens to be at 5:00pm. It's so difficult to sit through tons of traffic, work my ass off all day, sit in more traffic to come home to a crying baby. It's really beginning to take a toll on me. It's almost to the point that I hope for traffic so she's napping by the time I come home so I can decompress and not be a balled up wreck.

It's not the sleeping that's bad anymore (and I never thought I'd say that! I better not live to regret it). It's the going to sleep. Rock, suck, rock, suck until she's sleepy, put her in the crib...wide awake. Repeat, repeat, repeat ad nauseum. And now she's on this new kick where 30 minutes after bed time she's up and needs to be rocked back to sleep for an hour.

I've tried reasoning with her: "Listen I know you're tired, just close your eyes and go to sleep. I'm not keeping you up."

I've tried bribing her: "If you just stay asleep I'll buy you a pony I swear it."

I've tried threatening her: "If you don't go to sleep I'm gonna show all of your boyfriends your naked baby pictures and drive you to school in hot rollers and pajamas."

Apparently she doesn't scare easily.

I'm not abandoning my No Cry Sleep Solution plan though. I feel like every time I hit a snag I give up and try something else. Not this time. I've only been doing it for 12 days and have already seen big improvements that don't involve Crying it Out. I'm gonna stick with it so help me God. Eventually this kid will STTN on a consistent basis because I'm just not strong enough to rock a teenager to sleep.

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Take What You Can

I've read The Happiest Baby On The Block, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, Jo Frost's Confident Baby Care, The No Cry Sleep Solution, and The Baby Book. I swear if you put all of those authors in one room you'd get different advice and different opinions from each one of them. It's enough to drive you batty.

This is what my plan is. Listen to what each one of them have to say, follow what feels right and makes sense and toss what doesn't sit well with you. If I had to pick my favorite it would be The No Cry Sleep Solution because I feel like the author has been there and she knows how hard it is. Since I've put those ideas into practice things have gotten a lot better. Last night she even slept through the night for the first time. 8-6! I feel like I have to AW now while I have the chance!

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Chicks Lie

I'm sorry but it's so true. Every father of a baby that I speak too, which is basically anyone who looks like they have a baby, have a baby in the family, or might have been a baby at some point, (hey I'm on a quest here) will tell me horror stories about how their kid didn't sleep through the night until they were 6 months or how they cried for hours and hours on end or how it took the Roman army to get their kid to sleep at night or how they swore up and down that they would never have another baby.

However, when I ask their wives or girlfriends, or just a random mom in general I get the same response. "Oh, my little one sttn by the time s/he was six weeks old." Really? So all of your babies sttn without a problem or a peep? Interesting.

I get why they do it. I'm sympathetic to their cause. They feel that if they can't get their baby to go to sleep and stay asleep that they are bad mothers. Or they want to make other mothers feel inadequate or jealous (that's only for the meanies out there).

I've never felt the need to lie about Bella's sleep or lack of sleep or the trauma it takes to put her to sleep. It doesn't make me a bad mother! It makes her a bad baby ;)

But if I'm counting my blessings, since I read The No Cry Sleep Solution, things have gotten a lot better. She'll go down around 7:30/ 8:00 and sleep until 6 or 7 am waking up once for a bottle around 2 and maybe around 4 to be soothed. It's not perfect, especially when Andy and I are both working or when he's on midnights and I'm flying solo, but this is the stage that we're at right now. It's just so damn difficult to get her to sleep. Walking and rocking and sucking forever. I'm trying to break her of that suck to sleep association, but it aint easy let me tell you. See, I told you I wasn't scared to tell the truth. The great thing is is that she doesn't really fuss or cry except at bed/nap time or when she's hungry. She'll never fuss or cry for no reason. Which I'm very grateful for.

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The Inner Voice

"I'm so fat!" "My skin is disgusting." "This outfit makes my hips look huge." "I look like a transvestite." "My hair is so flat." These are the words verbatim that echoed in the hotel room I shared with my friends for my cousin Christie's birthday. Each girl looked at herself in the mirror and began to berate and humiliate herself as she scrutinized each angle and exacerbated every minute flaw.

My friends are beautiful, intelligent, successful, and somewhat nice (at least to people they like, but that's a post for another day). But they never say that out loud or, I'm assuming, to themselves. I'm guilty of this too. I can't tell you how many times I've passed by the mirror and put myself down, especially post baby.

Why are we so mean to ourselves? We'd never tell our friend that she's a fat ass with ugly hair and cottage cheese thighs would we? Could you look your mother, sister, best friend, boss in the eye and tell them that their stomach was flabby and their boobs saggy? Probably not, but women continuously put themselves down.

Take a second today and be nice to yourself.

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Acceptance and a Little Positivity

I think what I need to do is just accept that Isabella is a tiny little person, an infant who wakes up a lot. To eat, to be soothed, whatever. She's not supposed to be sleeping 12 hours a night (although if your kid does this you are mighty lucky). The truth of it is, most babies don't STTN and I've accepted that. Is it fun? No. Is it frustrating? Yes. Am I tired? You betcha. But when push comes to shove, I'm her mother and mothering doesn't stop at bedtime.

Eventually she will sleep. It might take a while, but eventually she will STTN and if not, she'll eventually get married and it'll be her husband's problem to swaddle and rock her to sleep.

No matter how sleepy I am, how could you not love this face

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There are Good Days and Bad Days

And good nights and bad nights. It seems like we're in the middle of a bad stretch. Isabella went from sleeping 6-8 hours a nap and taking several hour naps in the daytime to sleeping 4.5 hours and fighting every nap. It's just really frustrating because I know she's capable of sleeping longer she just won't. I've tried upping the amount she gets in her bottle, I've tried mylicon drops, I've tried begging God and bargaining with the devil. I always said I was anti cry it out, but if this doesn't resolve, once she's four months and able to self soothe, I think I'm going to have to reconsider.

I don't understand what's wrong with her lately. She gets herself so overtired that she just cries and cries and I feel so bad for her. Thank God my mom lives close so when Andy is working she can come over and we can take turns trying to soothe her. Here's hoping to better days ahead.

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