Have you ever done a jigsaw puzzle where you're trying your darndest to get the stupid piece to fit in a spot that it obviously doesn't? Sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit. Like trying to fit a round peg in a square hole (like how I flipped that analogy upside down? I'm pretty wild).
In certain situations or with certain people, I feel like I have to shave bits of myself off to make myself fit. And I know that you should be who you are at all times blah blah blah, but this is the real world and sometimes you just want to belong. You just want to be part of it all.
I realize that all too often I'm guilty of living in my own head, which is more often than not a pretty frightening place. But lately when I'm out with friends or talking to a coworker about her and her boyfriends umpteenth break up or when I'm conversing with a Super Mom I just feel like I don't mesh. Like I'm the wrong piece in a jigsaw puzzle.
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8 comments:
I totally understand how you feel,I have always felt that way. I am finally learning to embrace it and live authentically (I have 10 years on you and I am still not there yet). Enjoy your sweet Isabella, this time goes fast.
The Park Wife
Wow. this post totally touched me. I couldn't agree more...hence the name of my blog...I feel like I'm always trying to go in through the out door. I fought it for so long...but now I embrace it. I'd rather be the square peg than the round hole any day.
And for the record, I think you're fabulous.
What a great post! I think every woman needs to read this. Thanks for sharing your heart!
I totally understand how you feel too. I used to struggle with this too, until I realised not everybody is all the facets of themselves at the same time... we all are diamonds, with different facets, and different aspects of us shine in different lights. You can still be your authentic self, but showing one part of yourself in one place, and another side in other company, just means you are well-rounded!!
And as for when you are talking to the Super Mums - well, no-one feels comfortable talking to them!! :o)
I definitely know how you feel. It's become much more obvious to me now that I'm a mom. I feel like I'm denying part of who I am (a mother) so that I can fit in with whomever I'm talking to (usually non-parents). It can be rough. That's why we have each other, E! You'll always fit in with me, beautiful!
I can completely relate to this post. I feel like that often! I almost feel like I am going through another period in my life where I am trying to find myself, or something. Weird and true.
We're complex critters, us people, and really we've got to shave bits off before we can fit anywhere. A person capable of being everything they are in every situation they're in would probably not be a very multi-faceted person, I would think. I think what you've discovered about yourself is simply that you're probably just an interesting person.
You are not alone. That happens to me all the time and it is a very isolating feeling especially if you are in a group and everyone else seems to "fit".
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