Recently I went to go see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland with my mother and sister. Aside from getting to ogle a super hot Johnny Depp with whom I love with all of my soul, the movie was amazing. There were definite liberties taken with the story line and it was more of a combo between Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. There was one scene in the movie that I thought was really thought provoking. It has little to do with the story line so it won't ruin anything.
The Hatter was telling Alice that she wasn't quite as much herself as she once was. He said that she lost her "muchness." How many times have we allowed ourselves to be stretched too thin or shrunk down to less than half our size? How long have we let other people make decisions for us when all along the choice was ours?
I've always done what was "expected" of me. I went to college, got a good, safe, solid job, got engaged, bought a house, got married, and had a baby. What would have happened if I didn't listen to my mom or Andy or my friends? What would have happened if I was much too much myself?
Not that I regret any of my paths. They've all lead me to wonderful blessings and amazing people, but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I went away to school like I wanted to? Or if I got the apartment in Manhattan with my friend when she asked me too? What if I wasn't so scared of the unknown? What if I were more open to taking chances?
I really want to be true to myself in this new chapter of my life. Sometimes I rely too heavily on my mother's advice. I need to grow into myself and find my muchness.