Thursday, March 4, 2010

Remembrance

My cousin just had a baby girl. So tiny. So cute. As I held her it seemed almost foreign to me, even though I just had a baby 9 months ago. I don't really remember when Isabella was that little. Sure I have videos and pictures up the yin yang, but I feel like that time in my life was so wrought with nerves, anxiety, exhaustion, hormones, and desperation that my mind probably blocked it out as a defense mechanism. In the midst of it I swore I would never forget what it was like, I also swore I would never go through it again. Ever. But I forgot and everyone started sleeping more (more or less) and I was no longer nervous about giving her a bath or changing her clothes, because that get old pretty quick. I forgot what it was like to have a baby that doesn't smile at you yet, doesn't interact, doesn't make you crack up laughing.

A lot of people love the newborn stage when they're so small and snuggly. They're not trying to pull your earrings out of your ear or sticking their tongue out at you when they don't want to eat their peas. I never liked this stage. She was like this little tiny bean bag who cried and pooped and occasionally slept. It's so much more fun now.

Women always tell you that you forget the pain of labor. When I was pregnant I clung to this notion because if you can forget it, it can't be that bad. It was bad. And I had an epi. But before the epi guy (aka my knight in shining scrubs) came in and worked his magic and at the end when it started to wear off, that shit hurt. A lot. The after pain hurt too. It hurt to sit, walk, and pee...don't even get me started on pooping. I had a deep pain in my muscles from 12 hours of labor. I swore I would never forget that pain. I also thought that in order for a woman to forget that pain, she had to be a special kind of stupid. But, I was proven wrong as I have been so many times in motherhood. That memory is fading.

So remembrance can be quite the gift or quite the curse.

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11 comments:

Quixotic said...

I remember when GG was about 18mths old, and a friend had a newborn, I went to pick up the baby and nearly threw him over my shoulder, he was so light!!! lol
And yes, we are designed to forget horrible pain, otherwise there'd be no second children or return visits to the DMV...

shawn said...

Newest Follower. Found you from Friday Follow :)
I just held my cousin's little baby last week-wow the time flies my baby's 8

B Sparkly said...

Happy FF!! I'm a new follower:) Come see me at my blog.
Anat

mykidsarefun said...

I found you through Friday Follow! Great blog, I'm now a Google Friend Connect Follower! :)
Visiting from My Kids Are Fun!

Debralee said...

Love your blog...Following back from Friday Follow. I sat on a ice pack for 3 days...it was my miracle.

Margaret said...

Following back from FF! Have a great weekend!

Icy BC said...

Great post, and I'm Following you through FF!

bizzimommiofboyz said...

Hello From A Late Friday Follower.

Will Be Following From....

http://bizzimommi.blogspot.com

Hope To Hear From You Soon........

Mrs. Trophy Wife said...

Hey girlie, added your button to my blog. Feel free to add my new button if you want :) If not, that's fine too.

Love the new look!

Mrs. Sanchez said...

Great post. I found you via FF. I love your style of writing and for someone who is planning to start a family I grasp onto the good and the bad pregnancy stories.

Follow me back at: http://jotgiveaways.blogspot.com

Sarah said...

I have completely forgotten the pain of labor! Even though I practically crawled into the hospital. I think it's amazing how our brains can work that way!!

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