Saturday, May 1, 2010

If I Had a Dollar

If I had a dollar for every time that I prayed to God my kid would stop crying/fussing and go back to sleep I'd have enough money to buy a time share in Hawaii.

If I had a dollar for every time that I dropped the f bomb in a day I'd have enough for a fancy pants bottle of wine. I need to stop swearing!

If I had a dollar for every time I told my class to "get in two straight lines," in a single day I'd have enough money for a full body massage.

If I had a dollar for every glass of wine or beer I had in a week I'd have enough money for a matinee movie ticket.

If I had a dollar for every pound I lost since I joined the gym and decided that in order for Weight Watchers to work I actually need to follow the program (about 5 weeks ago) I'd have enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes in NYC.

I'd like to collect.

post signature


Southern Loves said...

Cute...the first one...oh yeah...I'd be a millionaire!! ;o)

Lil'Misa said...

I love it! I would be a millionaire too if I got a dollar for every time I asked my students to keep their hands off each other.

Miranda said...

I am with you on 1, 2, and 4. I don't do lines with high school students and I gave up on WW because of the addiction I have to sauv blanc. I mean, I guess I could've just given up the food.

For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Cute post!

Louise | Italy said...

Funny post! Greetings from Italy via SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Debbi said...

Wouldn't that be great if you really could collect money for doing stuff like that. Oh, I'd be so happy.
Happy SITS saturday sharefest!

Nikki said...

Fun post!! I would be a fricken millionaire with the whole swearing thing!!! I really need to knock that off!!

VKT said...

This is so funny Melissa. I needed a good laugh today. I wonder how many times I have said get in line over the last 34 years?? I don't even want to know! Enjoy today. (I voted for you. )

VKT said...


I can't figure out how to vote. I tried. If you can explain it to me, heck, I will vote every day in the top Mommy blog thing.

Post a Comment

Have at it...and I will respond to all comments here so check back often to stay in the conversation.