Saturday, May 29, 2010

Let's Talk BFF's

I mentioned in a post recently that I had a group of girlfriends that I was really close to but that I didn't have one best friend. I'm really close to my sister, but there are certain things I just can't talk about to her because she's kind of a "suck it up and get over it" kind of person, where as I can talk things to death. My cousin Christie and I used to be ridiculously close. We'd go out for drinks just the two of us, go shopping, and out to dinner, we'd talk on the phone a couple of times a week and I hate talking on the phone, but now we're not as close anymore. I don't really know why. It's not like we got into a fight. We just sort of fell away from each other I guess. I can't even blame Isabella because it happened before I was even pregnant.

On the cab ride into the city for my birthday night out. Two of my girlfriends were talking about what they were going to wear to their respective parties the next day (a Communion and a baby shower) and they were suggesting outfits for each other to wear. "Oh you should just wear the white pants" "Are you going to wear the wrap dress?" Then I realized, I don't think anyone knows what I have in my closet. No one would be able to help me decide what I wanted to wear. It's silly I know, but bear with me.

I've had best friends before. From grammar school straight through high school I had a best friend named Laura who was basically my conjoined twin. We shared everything. Our families were close; we spent every day together. As we got older and went to different colleges we just kind of went our separate ways.

When I started work as a teacher, one of my coworkers and I got super close. Kristy and I hit it off from the start and got really close. We've waxed and waned in our closeness over the past 5 years, but she would be the closest to a bff that I have right now.

It's odd, when you're growing up its guys that give you the most heartache, I find that now that I'm all grown up it's my friendships, or lack of, that gives me worries.


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13 comments:

Kaymee said...

Don't you just wish all the GPM's lived closer!!!

Shell said...

Oh, I know. I do have a bff, but we now live 600+ miles apart. :( Trying to find anything even close to that closeness here hasn't happened.

Monster's Mommy said...

i heart you! :) Finding "real" friends is so hard. :(

Lil'Misa said...

It is hard finding a really good close friend. Now with a baby it is even harder for me to keep in touch. Before it was hard because I was married and they were not. Now they are still single and I have a baby. It is hard to relate to each other.

You have us! =)

Candy and Cake said...

Can so relate with you! So great reading someone else's experience w/ friendships as a mother and woman. How time changes things...

Candace

BLOGitse said...

Don't worry...that's normal and part of life - people come and go.
I have two friends who I've known for years despite we don't see that often we still know each others like before.
Some people change. You don't have nothing to talk any more. That's normal too. Sometimes we grow up to different directions...
Our values change with age...that's an other thing too and specially when you have a family of your own...

Have a nice weekend!

BLOGitse

Sarah said...

So, so, so true. And the husband just can't fill a girlfriend's shoes. I'm struggling with this too!

Stephanie said...

I don't have that "close" girlfriend either. I did, and I miss it. I have been wicked lonley lately, and I too talk things to death, but there hasn't been anyone I can even call...or someone who would call me :/

I am always trying to make new friends, but it is so hard now!!!

Good luck!

purseblogger said...

I so understand. I have felt that way my whole life. I've had really close friends but no one I have felt was my BFF. I too talk things to death, I need to analyze it. Here in law school, I've found the closest thing to it. I have loved it! And now that we're done, we're going our separate ways and that's hard. I have to start over again in a few weeks in a new town...

Miranda said...

It is so much harder to find friends as we get older. SO much harder. I totally understand where you're coming from!

"Queen" Vic said...

I totally get what you're saying. My fiancee and I are ridiculously close, but now that he's taken on a second job, I find myself wondering who to meet up with for dinner and wanting to call someone to go shopping.
Now-a-days I find myself turning to the interwebs. There's something comforting about reading the words of someone you never met in real life, but being able to completely understand them, and in turn to share a part of yourself.
Stopping by from SITS, your new girlfriends :)

Teresa said...

AWWW i'm gunna look through your closet so you can call me and i'll give you suggestions on what to wear. or you can give me money and i'll shop for you.. whatever works.

Erin said...

I am with you I wish I had a few more closer friends and one super super ggood best friend!

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