Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Obligatory Mother's Day Post

I know you've probably perused a bunch of mother's day posts so if you've actually taken the time to open mine that makes me loves you. Today was great. We had a big family brunch and a bbq for dinner and I didn't have to change one poopy diaper.

Now for something so funny I almost pee'd myself reading it, partly because it's funny and partly because its true.


THE
NEXT
SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play
two sportsand take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework
,
complete science projects,
cook
,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.


In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough moneyfor groceries each week.


Each man

must remember the birthdays

of
all their friends and relatives,
and
send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a
dentist appointment
and a
haircut appointment.

He must make one
unscheduled and
inconvenient
visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make
cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.


Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will
only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their
legs,

wear makeup daily
,

adorn themselves
with jewelry,

wear
uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,


and
eyebrows groomed

During
one of the six weeks,
the
men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings

but never once complain or slow downfrom other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.



They will need to read a book to the kids each
night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth
and
comb their hair

by 7:30 am.


A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child'sbirthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,

and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.


The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouseat a moment's notice.



If the last man does win,he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called
Mother!

Funny right? Oh Andy would kill me if I didn't mention the awesome Mother's necklace he bought me, or should I say Isabella bought me. And a pair of fab Ray Ban's since my Chanel sunnies were stolen when my car was in the shop.

13 comments:

Nikki said...

I love the post....it tired me out just reading it! Beautiful necklace and love the shades!!!

Shell said...

LOL My husband wouldn't last a day. He STILL asks me when the boys' birthdays are, even though our kids are 5, 4, and 2.

Love your necklace!

lady gray said...

ohhhh, the shades are very good. nice choice. and the necklace is gorgeous! Isabella has great taste. :)

happy mother's day!

Lillian Juda Leonard-Beach said...

I was wondering if you could help me wish my mom a happy mothers day?

http://judaleonard.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-need-favor-for-my-mom-from-blog-moms.html

Southern Loves said...

What an adorable necklace & fabulous shades!! Happy Mother's Day!! :-D You've been awarded over on my blog!! :-D

Miranda said...

LOVE it. Glad you had a good Mother's Day!

Jess said...

This was hilarious! And how dare someone steal your sunglasses from your car! I'd cut someone if that happened. But I'm crazy like that and have a weird addiction to purses and sunglasses...I may need help...anyway Good blog...Happy Mother's Day!

Together We Save said...

Love that neckllace!!

Sarah at The Stroller Ballet said...

Funny! And you lucky girl, what a beautiful necklace. I also just got a pair of ray ban aviators. You look great in them!!

Maudette said...

Love. It. Pretty necklace too:)

Heather said...

lol definitely a good idea for the next survivor! :)

Mrs.F said...

Haha I love that pose with the ray bans!

sanjeet said...

the necklace is gorgeous! Isabella has great taste. :)
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