The Obligatory Mother's Day Post

I know you've probably perused a bunch of mother's day posts so if you've actually taken the time to open mine that makes me loves you. Today was great. We had a big family brunch and a bbq for dinner and I didn't have to change one poopy diaper.

Now for something so funny I almost pee'd myself reading it, partly because it's funny and partly because its true.

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIESSix married men
will be dropped on an island

with one car

and 3 kids each

for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sportsand take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition,

each man
will have to budget enough moneyfor groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow downfrom other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings

and church,
and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids each night

and in the morning,

feed them,

dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.


A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks,

and each father will be required to know

all of the following information:
each child'sbirthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouseat a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

Funny right? Oh Andy would kill me if I didn't mention the awesome Mother's necklace he bought me, or should I say Isabella bought me. And a pair of fab Ray Ban's since my Chanel sunnies were stolen when my car was in the shop.

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