Thursday, May 27, 2010

Plastic Surgery

We're all modern women here, so can we talk plastic surgery for a hot minute? I don't mean plastic surgery a la Heidi Montag because that's all sorts of sad. According to my two bit Psychology class my freshman year of college, she has some serious self-esteem issues and an additional asshole boyfriend problem as well. But I'm seriously digressing here.


My sister and I were on the treadmill the other day and she made a good point. If we took all the money spent on the gym, health food, and diet books and just saved it up for a few years, we could probably get head to toe liposuction from a second rate doctor. It would probably take a decade to save up enough money for an A-list doctor, but that's ok, I'm not proud.

But in all seriousness, if I could have plastic surgery on any part of my body it would be my legs, not because they're fat, they're actually not, I carry my weight in my hips, ass, and belly, it's because they're veiny. I had a lot of veins on my legs before I got pregnant, after 9 months of carrying that child my legs look like a map of the world's rivers. I'm really self conscious about it. It looks really super gross, now that I've lost some weight and will be wearing dresses and a fat sucking bathing suit, I'm really aware of the veins bulging on my calfs and thighs.

I have a derm appointment in a few weeks so I might mention it to him to see if there's some magic laser trick they can use to give me smooth sexy legs. Maybe if I promise to shave them regularly God will grant me this gift (Are you there God, it's me Hairy?). In a few years I may also consider botox to rid me of the parenthesis around my mouth and maybe a breast reduction since I've been in some serious lower back pain. Just call me Heidi the second.

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13 comments:

Jacqui said...

i was just going to write about this a few days back but then i backed out!! hahah. do you know shes going to europe becasue she wants to get bigger boobs and she has the maxium size implants she can get in the USA!! she was to be like a G or H, something like that.

Mommy said...

I too want a breast reduction. I could use some laser hair removal also.
She said she wants to have an H for Heidi. There is something wrong with her, and she needs some medical treatment, not plastic surgery.

Jenny said...

I would totally get a nose job if I were guaranteed that it would still look like "me". That and maybe a breast reduction :)

Jess said...

She wants to be an "H" for Heidi. Seriously. She said that. I'm thinking if they get any bigger she may not be able to walk upright but to each their own I suppose.

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

I must confess, I'm dying to get a tummy tuck. All the sit ups and crunches in the world just won't get rid of the pooch and extra skin that have appeared four babies later. There's no way I'd fork out the money for a tummy tuck though. I have a hard enough time in trying to justify my desire to buy a Coach purse! lol
Thanks for stopping by the other day and commenting on my "OH NO HE DIDN'T!" post. It's nice to meet you. Come on back anytime! Have a great day.

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama

lady gray said...

"Are you there God, it's Me Hairy?" ummm...i just died a little bit.

and I'm totally with you on the Hairy-ness. However, my plastic surgery of choice (after finishing birthing children) might definitely be a breast lift. These post-BF boobies make me sad.

Therese said...

I'm going to be a dork and say that while reading this post I was all - yeah, yeah, totally (!!) about saving up the money spent trying to transform ourselves... and then you lost me on getting all sliced up instead.
I think I have a more unpopular opinion when it comes to plastic surgery - I am so HELLS NO about it. I am just not down with women feeling like they need SLICE THEIR BODIES OPEN (and risk there health, because every surgery comes with risk - my mother is in hospital as I write this with serious infection post surgery) to look "better". Sometimes I look around and really wonder what all of us would look like minus the hair dye, teeth whitener, fake tan, spanx, nails, etc, etc, etc.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for looking our best, having some style and feeling great about ourselves. I just wonder about what kind of culture we live in that has normalized surgery as a means to improving our appearance. As a mother of a daughter I am very passionate about body issues and self-esteem and I would be devastated if my daughter felt the need to alter herself this way just to be more comfortable out in the world. That breaks my heart.

Anywho, sorry for the lengthy post. I care a lot about this issue. Thanks for writing a very thought provoking post!

Stephanie said...

she is a HOTT mess...I mean, there are some things that I would do...tuck here...hair gone there...lol...but I would NOT get S's for STEPHANIE...I mean...mayyybe go a littttle bit bigger. BUT she took BIG to the extreme!

Desi said...

Ok...so my friend has the same problem. The plastic surgeon she talked to said that insurance will only cover it if they are painful and therefore affecting your every day life. So...when you bring it up at the dermatologist's office, its painful ;).

Babes Mami said...

I plan on having a breast lift after I'm done having babies. Nothing else for thanks!

The Bipolar Diva said...

Well after 8 kids (no need to mention that I only gave birth to 2 of them)Boob job and lift and I am SO glad I did it!

Then, well is it bad that I have a botox doc?

Teresa said...

seriously, i'm getting some paranthesis too so in a few years time we will host a botox party together lol

Mrs.F said...

I've had plastic surgery (I'm sure everyone knows at this point that my boobs are fake HA!) and I don't regret it at all! Now Heidi Montag's problem is another story... that's just scary. But if you're looking for a little lipo or "parenthesis" correction... go for it!

I'm waiting until I'm done having kids to get lipo... yes I'm seriously getting lipo. But that's it!

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