We're all modern women here, so can we talk plastic surgery for a hot minute? I don't mean plastic surgery a la Heidi Montag because that's all sorts of sad. According to my two bit Psychology class my freshman year of college, she has some serious self-esteem issues and an additional asshole boyfriend problem as well. But I'm seriously digressing here.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
My sister and I were on the treadmill the other day and she made a good point. If we took all the money spent on the gym, health food, and diet books and just saved it up for a few years, we could probably get head to toe liposuction from a second rate doctor. It would probably take a decade to save up enough money for an A-list doctor, but that's ok, I'm not proud.
But in all seriousness, if I could have plastic surgery on any part of my body it would be my legs, not because they're fat, they're actually not, I carry my weight in my hips, ass, and belly, it's because they're veiny. I had a lot of veins on my legs before I got pregnant, after 9 months of carrying that child my legs look like a map of the world's rivers. I'm really self conscious about it. It looks really super gross, now that I've lost some weight and will be wearing dresses and a fat sucking bathing suit, I'm really aware of the veins bulging on my calfs and thighs.
I have a derm appointment in a few weeks so I might mention it to him to see if there's some magic laser trick they can use to give me smooth sexy legs. Maybe if I promise to shave them regularly God will grant me this gift (Are you there God, it's me Hairy?). In a few years I may also consider botox to rid me of the parenthesis around my mouth and maybe a breast reduction since I've been in some serious lower back pain. Just call me Heidi the second.
Posted by Melissa G. at 9:00 AM