Thank you to all your comments and e-mails helping me out, especially to Miranda who broke it down for me like I was a two year old and who even offered up her blog as a techno play toy for me to learn on.
So with all your help I was able to install Google Analytics, add tabs, and buy my blog. However, I'm having some glitches. When I bought the domain name all the comments are gone, I'm pretty fond of them and I'd like them back. And my tabs are super ugly. How do I make them pretty and pink like the other stuff on my blog? Do I need my most awesome blog designer Emma over at Indie Chick to bail me out? I swear that woman must think I'm an idiot, just as sure as I think she's a genius. Miranda, expect an e-mail!