Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What All Non Mom's Should Know

Most of my IRL friends are not moms and sometimes they just don't get it, ya know? So I'm here to school all the non moms on how to interact with their tot toting counter parts.

When you ask "So, how's the baby?" do not expect to get a simple one word answer. You will hear all about the sleep troubles, teething troubles, milestones, and things that I think are adorable that you could care less about. Unfortunately there is no way around this because if you don't ask me how my kid is doing, I will blog about what a bitch you are. So you need to just suck it up on this point.

I can talk about things besides the baby. I read books that don't involve cats in hats. I watch movies that don't involve singing mermaids. And I watch TV shows that don't involve four grown men wiggling it up. We can talk about other things. Don't feel obligated to ONLY talk about the baby or assume that's all I want to talk about.

Invite me places. Maybe I can go, maybe I can't, but that's not the point. The point is that you thought of me and wanted to include me. I had a baby. I didn't fall off the face of the earth, I still like to do stuff sans baby.

The best times to call me on the phone is after bed time or on my commute home. Calling me during bath time, or God forbid bed time, I will fly into a rage and not be your friend for 2 days.

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15 comments:

Jennifer said...

I hear ya. My girlfriend's birthday was in April & she invited everyone out to the bar to celebrate, but she didn't even ASK me. Probably because I have 10 month old twins, but a simple "hey, can you make it?" would have been nice. Just because I have children doesn't mean I can't leave them home for a few hours with DH while I have a drink or two.

Miranda said...

HALLELUJAH. I couldn't have said it better myself! I do still read and I do still watch TV. There's more to me than just being a spit-up covered mom. And I hate that my non-mom friends don't call me anymore. :(

Bethany said...

Kuddos to you!!! This gave me goosebumps with how true it is!

lady gray said...

i feel you. especially on the "please invite me!" front. but i'm such a mess of Catholic guilt that my feelings get hurt when they don't ask, but if they DO and i can't go (usually the case) then i feel guilty for saying "no." heh. oh well. still nice to be asked. :)

Babes Mami said...

I too like to be acknowledged! My friends hardly ever ask me out because I do have a 10 month old and they know I am tired. But ASK! I might be able too, I might want to go or I might just really need a night out!

Quixotic said...

Great post, you really nailed it! I do think though, Mums need to make sure that they dont ONLY talk about the baby, as you said, we are still us too, not just Mums, I was the last of my friends to have a baby, and I did find it a bit hard going sometimes when they would bring ANY topic of conversation back to the baby and refuse to offer an opinion on anything, claiming "oh, I don't watch the news or read papers anymore, I'm a Mum". I held my toungue, because I didn't have kids so hey, what would I know. It was only after I had my daughter I realised some people use it as an excuse to 'check out' of the real world!

erin said...

SO true! it can be hard sometimes to have non-mom friendships. most of my friends don't have kids and sometimes it's challenging because until you have kids you really don't get it!

Sarah at The Stroller Ballet said...

Great list. Dinner time is a really, really bad time to be calling me, too. xoxo

liz said...

Thanks for the visit and comment love! I think this is a really great post, and a viewpoint I think we all need to take more often.

I especially loved that you said friends without kids should ask if we can go, not just assume we won't.

Kisha said...

I totally feel you here! I am seriously lucky, though, because I am blessed with some of the most considerate, understanding non mom friends in the world, seriously. They don't care if I talk about my kids, but conversely, it's not all I talk about and I ask about their lives too. Most importantly, they love my kids as much as me:) Yay for good friends!

I'm a full-time mummy said...

Greetings from Malaysia again! Just want to say thank you for dropping by my blog on my SITS day. Thank you again and hope to see you back here sometime! :D

Warmest Regards,
Jenny aka I'm a full-time mummy
(http://imafulltimemummy.blogspot.com/)

Sarah Nicole said...

I will have to remember this. Not many of my friends have kids yet but I will keep this in mind once they do. Thanks for following me! :]

Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

Well said!! God I need to post this on my blog! Thanks for visiting me today! New follower here on yours!

carina said...

Love love love. This is SO true. :)

And thanks for stopping by my blog... I'll be back!

Michelle Faith said...

AMEN sister....just take me to fricking lunch I say! I'm not on Mars I just have four kids.

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