Friday, June 25, 2010

Dear Thighs

Dear Thighs,

I am rip roaring mad at you. YOU did not carry a baby around for 9 months. YOU did not need to expand and grow to accommodate a tiny human being. Therefore there is no need for you to have, um, "spread out" so much. You see I have a fat sucking bathing suit to deal with my belly, ass, and hips...however there is no head to toe thigh sucking bathing suit. Now that the pregnancy weight is gone and my belly has gone down to normal, maybe not skinny, but normal, you refuse. You have fared the worst on this pregnancy and without merit. So stop jiggling, stop the sit down thigh spread, and start getting back into shape. I swear to God above that I will run you to death on the treadmill and the elliptical machine until you comply with my orders, kthanks.

xoxo,

Fat Thigh Girl

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11 comments:

Coffee Please!?! said...

at least you have the cool fat sucking bathing suit!! where did you find that? maybe we should start wearing the old-fashioned bathing suits with the long bloomers? i'm all for it if it will cover up my fattiness. :-)

Stephanie said...

Mine have stretch marks. Yup, the hips and thighs have friggen stretch marks. Wtf!!!!!! I used to love my legs!!!!! And spider veins??? I'M 24!!!!!!!!!

Julie said...

Oh you guys are lucky, your young and just a bit chubby here and there. I'm getting that old lady legs and this is my first year with them and a bathing suit. YUCK!!! It's a good thing this is also the first year I have a bathing suit with a little dress, skirt thing. It helps.
Have a great day and God Bless!!!

Kristina said...

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Jenny said...

Me & my thighs haven't been friends since they decided to get covered in stretchies at 38 weeks pregnant with Henry. No fun at all!

MrsBro... said...

This post made me LOL.. I think you look amazing!

ModernMom said...

LOL I remember the exact same thoughts! It's almost like I was watching that baby grow and never even noticed my thighs were gaining right along with it! lol

Michelle@DomesticationoftheSingleGirl said...

my thighs have been my worst enemy since i was 14 or so.

they're the only place i gain weight AND i have unnaturally short legs. it's like a super-concentrated area of badbadbad. HATE.

Oh, how i loathe summer.

Dalia - Gen X Mom said...

Ugh, I know. But look at what cute little ones we get out of it! Gotta look on the bright side (at least that is what I keep telling myself) LOL.

Mrs.Pink said...

You're too funny! You look great!

Teresa said...

LOL this is funny but your thighs are not fat you crazy girl!

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