Friday, June 4, 2010

Over Parenting

I was sitting around shooting the shit with my mom the other day and she was teasing me about how Isabella has a sound machine. She went on to tell me that when I was a baby not only did I not have a car seat, but that she smoked during her entire pregnancy (she assured me they didn't know how bad it really was back in the day). And she never read one baby book. It's a wonder I survived with all my limbs! Which led me to the idea that sometimes we just over parent.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a research mama. I read books (although they usually just annoy me and I wind up disregarding them), I search blogs, google, and ask anyone who will listen to try and solve the particular problem I'm trying to wrap my mind around. I read books to my unborn baby when I was pregnant, and I cried when I had to stop breast feeding due to low supply after an 11 hour day (see I feel the need to explain that to you) because I was sure that I was going to mess my kid up.

Sometimes we need to just let our kids be kids. Don't toss out the car seats and light up a cigg by any means, but maybe lighten up in other areas. Maybe I don't need to try and stuff veggies down my kid's throat by hiding them in anything that Isabella will eat (re: covered in cheese) and just continue to offer it to her and let her make her own decisions. Instead of hovering over her as she couch walks maybe I can hang back a bit and if she falls on her bum, so what...she'll survive. Maybe my mother actually knows a thing or two about mothering ;)

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17 comments:

Shell said...

Good point.

We need to try our best, but not freak out over every little thing. :)

bluewhitelife said...

Great point :) I think it's so interesting to read other people's parenting ideas (even though I'm not yet a parent)...my parents were totally okay with letting us figure things out from our own mistakes, but also made sure we realized the value of family, education, morals, etc. They're pretty awesome :)

Jess said...

I know exactly what you mean. I don't even have kids yet but everytime I hear some new theory or see a new book I think to myself, we didn't have any of that mess when I was a kid and we all turned out ok! lol good blog.

lady gray said...

always shocking to realize about our own mothers. ;)

julietk said...

Well said after all we turned out fine :-D My mum used to say a little dirt won't hurt you ;-)

Ryan, Christy, Landen, and Jackson said...

I'm definitely guilty of over-parenting too at times! I think as a FTM we always want to have all the answers, not realizing that we'll never know everything! It's hard just to trust my mommy instincts at times, but I'm getting better! Glad to know there's other people out there going through the same thing. :)

Ryan, Christy, Landen, and Jackson said...

I'm definitely guilty of over-parenting too at times! I think as a FTM we always want to have all the answers, not realizing that we'll never know everything! It's hard just to trust my mommy instincts at times, but I'm getting better! Glad to know there's other people out there going through the same thing. :)

Bethany said...

Could not have said it better!! Good post!!

Resourceful Red said...

i've been trying to be more laxed lately...but sadly i dont think i am succeeding. i really dont want to end up being a helicopter parent either....parenting is a difficult task sometimes...but all so wonderful!!

http://resourcefulred.blogspot.com

Ciera said...

Excellent post. I am currently having a dilemma about when to stop breast feeding my daughter, and totally stressing about it! I think I have recently relaized that I need to just relax a little and everything will be fine :)

Miranda said...

I have tried and tried and tried to tell myself to stop worrying and overthinking and I still worry and overthink everything. And my mom is all "Well, we certainly never did any of this and you turned out okay" which makes me look at her like she's grown three heads for admitting she smoked while pregnant and also makes me sad that I can't seem to lighten up.

Bitsy Baby Photography said...

what a beautiful ode to your mom =) I agree and am learning everyday!!!!! I found your blog through Alyssa's blog Twists of Fate!

Island Gal said...

So true!
Btw great blog! I'm now following!

-Island gal
www.nycislandgal.com

Helena said...

Sometimes today's "experts" turn out to be tomorrow's loony tunes. We need to trust our own motherly intuitions and do what is right for our kids without smothering them! Great insights everyone and great post!

Staci said...

totally agree! I try not to hover too much :) following you now!!

Dr.Mom said...

Well said. It's true, relaxing a bit will not only help us but will help our kids too. I try to remind myself of that daily :)

Sazz said...

Great point. NOw all I have to do is try to make it happen. LOL

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