Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Falling Apart

Have you ever felt that you were falling apart at the seems? Like you were failing at everything that you tried to do? Sometimes I feel that way. Like I just can't keep it together. I feel like I'm failing my daughter because I'm not home with her, because I want to work. I actually really like my job. I feel like I'm failing my friends because I'm not the same as I was for them; I'm not as available. I feel like I'm failing my husband because I'm so drained at the end of the day that I don't have any energy left for him. The house isn't put together, I'm not put together.

I feel that even when I'm putting in 110% effort I'm still falling short in every area of my life. I'm not always such a sad sac. Somedays I rock this shit. But sometimes I just feel like my best is not even close to good enough.

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23 comments:

Lindsey Brackett said...

My feelings exactly. I'm going to write a post in the next couple of days about all I feel like I'm "supposed to" do and how impossible it is to be able to really do it all. Hope your day gets better; sometimes we just need to fall apart a bit so someone else can put us back together and remind us how loved we are.

Chrysanthemum said...

I am so with you. ::hugs::

You ARE rocking the shit out of this thing, it's just not always easy.

Java said...

Aww sorry to hear that Melissa. That's one of the toughest things about being a Mom..you can't be and do everything! At least you like you job! What do you do? I am in the same situation but I hate my job! lol. Just remember that you are only ONE person and you can't be stretched in 100 directions. Your house doesn't need to be spotless to feel complete. Hang in there and just do what you need to do and nothing more!

Nikole said...

I feel exactly like this. Right now. I sometimes feel on top of the world, but sometimes, I am just not good enough.

It's only a temporary feeling though, that's what we have to remember. Your daughter will admire your ability to work, and raise a family. Everyone is not cut out for our lifestyle. Keep your head up.
:)

Desi said...

I am always worrying about the things I'm doing and if they are the right thing and how they will affect liv in the future. I think its a part of being a mom. Unfortunately. Its because we love them so much :)

Bloggy Blog Designz said...

Most days, I feel like this is the story of my life! It's nice to know I am not alone!

Miranda said...

I feel like this more often than not. So, ((hugs)) from me.

Marisa said...

Oh, honey... you ARE doing such a great job, you ARE rocking that shit. ;) Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful role model, and your husband is lucky to have such a great wife... sometimes it's just hard to see it yourself, but believe me, it's true.

Amy said...

I think every mom (new and experienced) feels that way at one point, whether they are working or staying home. Hang in there. The light at the end of the tunnel will come around eventually!

Visiting from SITS.

Resourceful Red said...

Love, u do rock this shit!! ((HUGS)))
I totally get what you are saying tho....I think its a mom thing :)

Emily said...

I feel exactly the same way! Some weeks I'm on top of everything - and then I'll lose my grasp on one thing and it all falls apart. I feel like I could never be as awesome as my mom was (and still is). I think we just need more hours in the day!

Don't get too down on yourself though - you're doing a GREAT job!

Melissa B. said...

Sending positive vibes your way. SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did!

Fireworks on the 4th

Danielle said...

Sending positive vibes your way! It's hard to be everything for everyone, make sure to do what feels good and right for you, everythig else will fall into place. I know, easier said then done.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm your newest follower as well.

Kristie said...

I feel like that on more days than I'd like to admit. But I think it's completely normal. :) Sometimes there's just not enough mom/wife/friend/employee to go around.

Samantha said...

I feel the same way! Some days I have everything together, and other days, it's so hard juggling all the different roles I have. I suppose it's a normal part of life!

ModernMom said...

Oh yes...we have all been there. I think it's called being a Mom! Hang in there baby:)

New Jersey Memories said...

Don't worry! You're rocking it!

Lil'Misa said...

Again, another post I could have written.

You are an awesome mother, wife and friend and you aren't falling apart!

Crystal said...

The only thing I don't get with your post is the past tense of "feel". I'm always thinking I'm falling apart in at least three areas of my day. Don't worry, girlfriend. That just means you're doing a good job. You know what they say about "only a sane person doubts his sanity..." Well, there you are. Only a good mom doubts her effectiveness. BTW, I'm a former Joyzee girl (Nutley) and Brooklyn is my hood!!

Lindsay said...

if I get thru the day with all my parts intact and the baby's not been to the ER then we're good:)

Dinner is a bag meal most nights, hubby time is reserved for the weekend if we're lucky. Cleaning...well, that only happens if hubs does it:) And I work from home so I'm NEVER put together!

One thing I have been doing is asking my girlfriend to babysit one night every two weeks so that hubs and I can go out - just the two of us. I get all gussied up and we have a nice dinner and some relaxing time. Girlfriend loves to get some little man time in and we love to get some us time in. Perhaps you can find someone that would be willing to do that once or twice a month?

Kisha said...

Your best is just that-your best. Sometimes it's not enough, sometimes it's more than enough, but if you're doing your best, you're doing the right thing. Hang in there, lovey!

Tracie said...

You are far from failing your daughter, she is seeing her mama follow her dreams, work and raise a family. I do understand how you feel and I can tell you the feeling doesn't really ever go away. My daughters are 11 and 7 and I still feel guilty when I work and even worse, I LOVE my job! Just remember you are setting an example for her that you can have it all.

misssrobin said...

I know this post was a while ago, but I just got to it.

I'm going to give you some difficult advice. Especially for where you are right now, with a young one.

Everything in this post is about what you are doing for others. It's so easy to lose yourself in there.

What are you doing for you? What do you want? When was the last time you did something really fun just for you?

You will feel stronger and better able to give to others if you take some time to fill your well.

And I am sure you are already doing better than you think. We are always our worst critics.

Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm having fun exploring yours.

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