Thursday, July 1, 2010

Weight


I've never had a positive body image. Ever. Even when I was vegan and I lost a ton of weight, I'm 5'3 and I weighed 110 lbs, I never thought of myself as thin. I would look in the mirror and criticize my hips or try to hide my belly. Looking back in pictures I couldn't believe how amazing I looked. I'd say to myself, "Oh surely if I looked like that now I'd rock amazing dresses and a bikini." But if I'm being honest I probably wouldn't. My body still wouldn't be good enough for me.

My favorite store is Metro Park. Their clothes have a rocker edge but are still flirty (just my style), but I hardly own any of their clothes because you need to be fairly thin to wear them. I was browsing there the other day and fingering a slinky purple cocktail dress when the I-work-on-commission-so-you-look-great-in-everything sales guy sashays over to me and tells me that I'd look fabulous in that dress. My response, I'd need to wear 10 pairs of Spanx to pull it off.

I want to enjoy the body I have while I continue to make improvements in it. I was doing so well, I was down 10 lbs, sticking to Weight Watchers, going to the gym 4 days a week. But once my mom got sick there was a lot of take out and not a lot of working out, so I put back on a few pounds that I lost.

But more than losing weight I want to make peace with my body. I want to praise it for being strong and healthy not pick it apart because it doesn't look like a supermodel's. I want to accept the curves while still trying to banish the fat.

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13 comments:

Teresa said...

no one can be 100% happy with their body becuase of the society we live in. you can have 2% body fat and then a ocmmercial will come on and tell u that you have wrinkles, your hair is too frizzy, and the cellulite on your ass isn't going away until you buy their product.

Ronnica said...

I think it's important to seek weight loss when it's for health, not to "look good." I have a hard time motivating myself regardless, though!

Babes Mami said...

It's difficult to accept our bodies. Your not alone in your struggle!

Lil'Misa said...

You are not alone! I am not at peace with my body either. I wish I could accept my body as is but I always look at it negatively.

((HUGS))

Quixotic said...

I'm not saying it's easy, but you can learn to love your body, no matter what size or shape it's in! It's important to want to be healthy, and lose weight if you need to etc., but it's more important to love yourself, just as you are. I really struggled with this, and finally learned to lvoe my body, bumps and wobbly bits and all! You need to start by stpping all th enegative talk in your head, consciously focusing on the bits you like, reminding yourself how amazing you body is; it produces life for Heaven's sake!!!

If you want to read more about this, you can read my guest post on Sharnanigans... http://www.sharnanigans.com/2010/06/say-you-say-me/

Mrs.Pink said...

I just started reading THIN is the new happy and it's very entertaining!
It's about a 40 something lady who's never been happy with her weight. Went to WW at 14 years old... it's really good so far.

hope said...

about 6 months ago... i came to terms with my body when i say a woman lose over 100 lbs and got down to my weight which was 185...she was so thankful and happy to be that weight...and she looked absoultly beautiful...
i decided to stop focusing on my weight and focus on me...i ended up losing 2olbs without even realizing it...just by being happy with me... i guess subconciously my mind took my body where it wanted to be...
Hope
http://hopelesslycrushingonyou.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/david/

MelRoXx said...

It is difficult to accept ourselves sometimes. I understand what you mean by 'accept the curves while trying to banish the fats'. WAY TO GO GIRL!

xxx

Jenn said...

Oh, don't we all deal with this?! I'm with you on the 5 ft 3 inches part too ... and, being short does not help!

I'm only about 5-pounds more than my pre-baby weight, but my body is different. That's my current excuse for hating my body, but I've had many over the years. I just decided to start buying 'investment' pieces. No more cheap-o clothes. I'm going to buy good pieces that actually fit me, whatever size I happen to be. Maybe clothes that fit me right will make me feel better? Good luck in your quest!

chrysanthemum said...

I'm also trying to find a way to be at peace with my body. I've never been happy with it... ever. I have a legit weight problem now, and it's been hard to work out.

Also, I gave you an award on my blog, so check it out when you get a chance! I'm sure you've probably gotten it, but wanted to acknowledge you just the same. :)

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Lindsay said...

Based on the responses so far it's safe to say that we all have this problem. I'm also 5ft 3in and people expect folks that short to be tiny too...I'm at a "healthy" weight for my height but still feel heavy.

I remind myself daily that my body carried a human being for 9 months and literally fought a battle to birth him. It will not ever be the same as it was when I was 20 years old, swimming for hours every day and barely eating a stitch. I was tiny back then but far from healthy.

And you know what...99% of the models and tv stars you see in slinky cocktail dresses on the red carpet etc...are wearing Spanx:) (or have starved themselves for weeks leading up to the event).

Whatever Dee-Dee wants said...

My big struggle...wanting to accept my body but still try to lose weight.

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