Friday, August 20, 2010

I Am My Own Woman

Right now I am probably sitting on the beach wrapping up my shore vacation (sorry I didn't let you guys know I was leaving but I don't want to come home to a house that has been completely robbed but I will be posting an ass ton of pics soon). But I didn't want to miss Transatlantic Blonde's Feminist Friday Round Up so I'm scheduling a post in advance even though I'm not aware of any prompts this week, so forgive me if I'm totally off topic with my generic "Feminist Post".

When it was time for me to get married, we went and applied for our marriage license and the lady explained to me how to fill out the change of name section. Without a second thought I just filled in my maiden name. I had no plans on changing it. None. Andy had some other ideas.

He couldn't understand why I didn't want to take his last name. I told him that if he could give me one valid reason as to why I should change it, I would do it. He said, "So people will know we're together." Ummm, we've been together for years, we're getting married, and we are own a home together, I'm pretty sure that everyone we care about knows that we're together.

And so I remain to this day, Melissa Maiden Name. I didn't see any valid reason as to why I should have to change every credit card, social security card, teaching licenses, and my drivers license. Who would willingly spend a day at the DMV? I'd rather brush my teeth with barbed wire.

It wasn't only the inconvenience of it that made me keep my given name. It was my identity. My ties to my own family. How I was known. Who I was. I wasn't willing to give that up for the chance to become a part of him. Our lives were together. Our hearts were together. But we retain our individuality and I retain my name.

*If you did decide to change your name I don't think any less of you (if you were worried about what I think). I celebrate every woman's choice to make the decisions that she sees fit. So if that means keeping your name, taking his, or going by Mrs. Banana Hammock I'm all for it. More power to ya sister.

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4 comments:

Stephanie said...

I hyphened my name, i didn't want the hassle with changing everything. I do love my husbands lastname though!! :)

misssrobin said...

Good for you. I also support a woman's right to do her own thing. Whatever fits her. Regardless of societal pressures or tradition.

I happily took his name. Let's just say there are family members I was glad to no longer have other associate me with.

Hope you're having fun.

lady gray said...

my mom didn't give my sister or i middle names with the intention that we (like she had) would take our maiden names as our middle names upon marrying.

i like that i get to rock both names now without "giving up" any part of the name i used for the first 28 years of my life...i just got to add to and enhance my name.

I also went from the most simple last name EVER to one that is constantly getting mispronounced. oh well.

Melaina25 said...

I never planned on chaning my last name; not no way, not no how.

However, as a wedding present to NBH, I hyphenated my name. Is it a pain in the ass? Yes.

Do I just use my husband's last name when making restaurant reservations? Yes, but I did that before we were married, too.

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