Sunday, August 29, 2010

Lack

I have a lot of blessings in my life. I have a gorgeous daughter, a husband who loves me, a lovely home, a steady job, friends I can talk to, and a family that supports me. With so much abundance in my life I'm usually a pretty happy person, but sometimes I just get into a funk, like I'm sure we all do, and it seems all I can focus on is lack.

Sometimes my friends will talk about how they went shopping and splurged on a few new outfits and a killer pair of heels and I get envious and I wish that I had that luxury to do that. Most of the money we earn goes towards saving for a bigger house and paying down my student loans and of course diapers and Fall clothes for Miss. Isabella aren't free. Unless you wanna send me some.

Back at work people will talk about going on fancy vacations to Europe or the Caribbean and I'll wish I could be there. My friends are planning a trip to Australia to visit our friend Lara who moved there last year and I know that I won't have the money or time to go. I'd love to take a girls only vacation, I'd love to see Australia, and I'd love to see my friend but it's not an option for me and that makes me sad. It's just another place where I don't fit in or belong. None of my IRL friends have kids or are married so that just adds to my feelings of being left out and lonely. And I'm not blaming them in any way shape or form. Things change. Life changes. People change.

Sometimes I'll look through a glossy magazine and see a gorgeous kitchen, a designer dress, or a group of super close looking girlfriends and I know that that's just not in the cards for me. As I said, I love my life and I have an abundance of blessings it's just sometimes I become aware of what I don't have and I find the best way to snap myself out of this funk is to be grateful for what I already have. It's just sometimes easier said than done.

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6 comments:

Melaina25 said...

Did you see my guest post on Sally's blog?

I.FEEL.YOU.

Nostalgic said...

You should be thankful for what you're blessed with rather dwelling upon the luxuries you lack. Seriously, it won't help but would only cause you pain.

mtendere said...

I think it's all part of coming to terms with our new lives as parents. So much changes in such a short time and sometimes it's hard to let go of the life we had before. I'd think someone with the screenname "nostalgic" would understand that ;)

misssrobin said...

You should feel any way you want to feel. Sometimes there are small moments of grief for opportunity cost. I can't do this because I do that. It doesn't mean your a bad person or ungrateful, just real. Take the moment of grief, or several of them if you need to.

Just because there are things you'd like that you don't have, it doesn't mean you're not grateful for what you do have. It means you're honest.

I wish you could have it all.

Marisa said...

I often feel the EXACT same way... you're not alone, friend... And don't feel guilty about it, you were right in saying we all have days/times like that.
I hate to out myself as not being up to date on current lingo but what does 'IRL' friend mean?

Melaina25 said...

IRL= In real life as opposed to a FIF= Freaky internet friend.

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