Tuesday, November 30, 2010

In a Rut

I'm in a rut.  Yup, there I said it.  I've been it ruts before and I'm sure I'll be in them again and I know it will pass, but right now I'm smack dead in the middle of a rut.  I just feel like a robot sometimes.  I get up, get dressed, go to work, teach, come home, play with Isabella, make dinner, put her to bed, go to the gym, get ready for the next day, go to sleep.  Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

And it's not just that I'm not really doing anything interesting or spectacular, it's that I don't want to.  I don't want to do anything but be at home.  Now I know that's normal.  I should want to be home with my family.  And I do, but also my TV set and my computer.  I should want to spend some time with my friends or my family outside the confines of my home, no?

Whenever I do have plans, either on a weekday after Isabella has gone to sleep, right after work, or on a weekend (day or night), I don't want to do it.  I dread it.  I keep thinking to myself, "Just get through this day and tomorrow you get to stay home."

This is so not like me.  It's usually me wanting to do everything.  Wanting to see my friends.  Wanting to go out with Andy.  Not acting like coffee after work is equivalent to getting a root canal or drinks with the girls is like getting a pap smear.

Maybe it's because I'm tired or maybe it's because I'm bored or maybe I don't like doing the things I used to do (the thought of putting on make up and high heels and staying out past midnight makes me want to set my hair on fire and put it out with an ice pick, which is really not good b/c I have a friend's birthday night out on Friday bleh).  Maybe it's just a phase and it will pass.  I don't know but I do know that I'm in a bit of a rut so I've been brainstorming some things I can do to get out of it.

I can cut back a bit on the TV, computer, cell phone etc because it's becoming a bit draining and I don't like feeling like a zombie.  Maybe I can try something new.  They're offering a cooking class (not a weekly thing, just a one time 4 hour bit) at the Culinary Institute in Manhattan.  This could be something interesting for me to do.  I could also just bite the bullet and actually do something with my friends and I might *gasp* actually have fun, even if the lead up to it is dreadful.

I hope I snap out of this funk soon because I don't really feel like myself.
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5 comments:

Christine said...

I hate feeling like I'm in a rut...but when I'm living a life outside of my normal everyday routine I get into a panic "why can't things just be normal again?!?!" I can relate.

It is good to get out of the comfort zone though, stretch your legs, your mind and live life outside of the house. Thanks for reminding me to go this myself!!

misssrobin said...

I hope it's a small rut and you find your way out soon.

If not, you might want to see your doctor. It could be the beginning of a depression. The things you describe are how it starts.

If you get a real winter (like snow and freezing cold) where you are, you might want to make an extra effort to get 15-20 minutes of sun time a day. Or even up your vitamin D3 intake. It can help.

TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

Good luck. I feel you. I think that cooking class sounds like a terrific idea! You should do it!

Alex said...

Its normal. I've been in a rut before. I actually get in one quiet often to be honest. I think sometimes its just easier to be home,at least it was for me, to put on make up get dressed agh!. So its normal. I think the cooking class is a great idea. You want to know a secret? I actually started blogging because I felt like I needed to do something different and I have not been in a rut ever since ( not to say I won't be) but maybe its time to do somethig different. Go do the cooking class!

Good luck!

Lil'Misa said...

I've been in a rut lately. I think it is because of the predictability of each day. Also, I just don't have the energy to go out with friends after little man goes to bed.

I want to go out with the girls but can't get myself to set it up.

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