Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Guilt

I was talking with a friend at work the other day about the amount of guilt we feel as mothers.  When I'm working I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with Isabella.

 When I'm home with her I feel guilty too.  Am I coloring enough with her?  Are we spending enough time reading together?  I feel guilty for looking forward to nap time or bed time.  I feel guilty if I spend a night out with my friends or Andy.  I feel guilty for being too tired to make a healthy meal once in a while and giving her raviolis or macaroni with butter.  I feel guilty if the floors are dusty when she's playing.

 I feel guilty if she doesn't have a stupid hair clip that matches her shirt.  I feel guilty if I don't put her clothes away fast enough.  I feel guilty for getting frustrated/angry/annoyed with her.  I feel guilty if I yell at her.  I feel guilty if she's playing by herself and I'm doing something else.  I feel guilty that I haven't given her a baby brother or sister who is close in age to her and have no desire to do so any time soon.

 I feel guilty because I'm not perfect and I know I never will be.

What's with all the guilt? I'm sure I'm not the only one burdened with this crippling and completely useless emotion.  But I have yet to find a way to get rid of it.
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7 comments:

Nicole said...

I think this is my first time commenting on your blog...the guilt is really outta control isn't it? I think that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the "perfect" mommies with the perfectly put together, well-behaved kids. And if we can't spend every free second doing something with our children, we beat ourselves up about it. Honestly, I don't think the guilt will ever go away. I feel guilty about ALL the same things you do and I don't see it changing anytime soon, that's just how it is when you're a mommy.

Alex said...

Girl, I feel ya!.. I love my son and I feel guilty that work and that sometimes I'm just too tired, but I know that as long as we do the best we can we are going to be okay. Your daughter understands and loves you.

Lil'Misa said...

I feel guilty when I do something else while Carter plays.

I feel guilty if I want to stay after work to get some stuff done instead of running home to spend time with him.

I feel guilty if I make an appointment for the doctor, a hair cut or time with friends on the weekend without Carter. I feel like I need to spend all my free time with him.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

You are definitely not alone. I have four kids, and four heavy cases of guilt. Often over the stupidest things! I push it away as much as I can, but it's always there. So far, it doesn't get better as they get older, just different. My oldest is almost 18.
So I'm not exactly a ray of hope. LOL

Lindsey Brackett said...

I totally feel you. We are made to feel guilty for the stupidest things and for things that are our of our control. I felt guilty tonight because the only clean pair of jeans Madelynne has is ripped in both knees. Regularly I have to remind myself (as I look at the students in my class) that I'm not such a bad mom. My kids know I love them and will never leave them and that's got be more important than anything else. Hope you have a less guilty tomorrow!

Bonnie said...

Hello from SITS. I know what you mean. I never used to cry and now I find myself crying every time Henry cries. I feel guilty that I can't hold him every time he gets upset, that I can't stop his crying even though I've fed, changed and rocked him, and that sometimes I have to leave him and can't take him with me. That's the hardest one. It doesn't help when everyone you meet has a better idea of how to raise your kids. There is this unrealistic expectation out there that parents should be perfect and we're going to ruin our kids if we aren't.

sherri said...

I just stumbled across your blog and thought only a mom can understand how this feels..I feel guilty too.

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