I was talking with a friend at work the other day about the amount of guilt we feel as mothers. When I'm working I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with Isabella.
When I'm home with her I feel guilty too. Am I coloring enough with her? Are we spending enough time reading together? I feel guilty for looking forward to nap time or bed time. I feel guilty if I spend a night out with my friends or Andy. I feel guilty for being too tired to make a healthy meal once in a while and giving her raviolis or macaroni with butter. I feel guilty if the floors are dusty when she's playing.
I feel guilty if she doesn't have a stupid hair clip that matches her shirt. I feel guilty if I don't put her clothes away fast enough. I feel guilty for getting frustrated/angry/annoyed with her. I feel guilty if I yell at her. I feel guilty if she's playing by herself and I'm doing something else. I feel guilty that I haven't given her a baby brother or sister who is close in age to her and have no desire to do so any time soon.
I feel guilty because I'm not perfect and I know I never will be.
What's with all the guilt? I'm sure I'm not the only one burdened with this crippling and completely useless emotion. But I have yet to find a way to get rid of it.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Guilt
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7 comments:
I think this is my first time commenting on your blog...the guilt is really outta control isn't it? I think that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the "perfect" mommies with the perfectly put together, well-behaved kids. And if we can't spend every free second doing something with our children, we beat ourselves up about it. Honestly, I don't think the guilt will ever go away. I feel guilty about ALL the same things you do and I don't see it changing anytime soon, that's just how it is when you're a mommy.
Girl, I feel ya!.. I love my son and I feel guilty that work and that sometimes I'm just too tired, but I know that as long as we do the best we can we are going to be okay. Your daughter understands and loves you.
I feel guilty when I do something else while Carter plays.
I feel guilty if I want to stay after work to get some stuff done instead of running home to spend time with him.
I feel guilty if I make an appointment for the doctor, a hair cut or time with friends on the weekend without Carter. I feel like I need to spend all my free time with him.
You are definitely not alone. I have four kids, and four heavy cases of guilt. Often over the stupidest things! I push it away as much as I can, but it's always there. So far, it doesn't get better as they get older, just different. My oldest is almost 18.
So I'm not exactly a ray of hope. LOL
I totally feel you. We are made to feel guilty for the stupidest things and for things that are our of our control. I felt guilty tonight because the only clean pair of jeans Madelynne has is ripped in both knees. Regularly I have to remind myself (as I look at the students in my class) that I'm not such a bad mom. My kids know I love them and will never leave them and that's got be more important than anything else. Hope you have a less guilty tomorrow!
Hello from SITS. I know what you mean. I never used to cry and now I find myself crying every time Henry cries. I feel guilty that I can't hold him every time he gets upset, that I can't stop his crying even though I've fed, changed and rocked him, and that sometimes I have to leave him and can't take him with me. That's the hardest one. It doesn't help when everyone you meet has a better idea of how to raise your kids. There is this unrealistic expectation out there that parents should be perfect and we're going to ruin our kids if we aren't.
I just stumbled across your blog and thought only a mom can understand how this feels..I feel guilty too.
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