Thursday, March 10, 2011

The ABC's of Parenting Part 1

A is for Absenteeism: To some extent all working mom's share in parenting absenteeism, which means that for a large chunk of the day someone else is taking care of your child.  That can be a difficult pill to swallow especially when you torture yourself thinking about how much you miss and if your child feels abandonment.  I say we stop the vicious cycle now.  We cannot be at home and at work at the same time no matter how bad we wish we could.  Maybe it's better for our child to be loved and looked after by so many different people who love him or her.  Maybe if we were stay at home mom's we'd ruin our kids because of all of my our neurosis.  Our kids will always know who "mommy" is and that we love them.  

B is for Balance: Full time workers, full time mommies, full time wife somethings gotta give.  So what if your kid needs to eat a lunchables for dinner so you can wash your clothes for tomorrow's meeting.  Sometimes the floors need to go unwashed so you can spend a night alone with your husband and reconnect.  We all eventually find our own balance until something comes along to upset the turnip truck and even then, we find our balance again.  

C is for Clean: I feel that since I've become a mother I've been lodged in an epic battle with clean.  I try to keep my kid clean, my clothes clean, my house clean, and, if there's time, myself clean.  Sometimes I win and sometimes we're all dirty.

D is for Day Care: the place or person we send our little ones too while we bring home the bacon.  I hate dropping Isabella off there because there is always some diva fit.  That is until the snacks get passed out and then she leaves me for dead.

E is for Embarrassment: this is what happens when you're in a very public place dealing with a very public meltdown.  I like to take Isabella to this indoor play ground called Kid Junction, she loves it there which means that every time we have to leave it's a big production.  Arms flailing, back arching, screams echoing.  I can feel the blood rush to my face and I get embarrassed that my child has turned into Rosemary's baby.  I've taken to keeping M&M's in my car because if I tell her that they're waiting for her, she leaves quietly.  It's ok though, I fully intend on embarrassing the shit out of her when she's old enough to appreciate it.  

F is for Fickle: Yesterday scrambled eggs were her favorite breakfast, today she hates them and tries to throw them in the garbage.  Thomas the Train was her favorite toy for two weeks, now she just throws him aside to get to her Little People airplane.  The Wiggles was her all time favorite show, and now she's all about the Bubble Guppies.  Last week she was up Andy's ass, this week I'm the rock star, next week maybe my sister.  

G is for Guilt: Lots of it.  Guilt for not baking cupcakes for the Christmas party at day care.  Guilt for missing bedtime because you have to stay late for parent teacher conferences.  Guilt for not cooking dinner tonight.  Guilt because you'd rather watch Jersey Shore than play with blocks.  Guilt for seeing your kids 3 hours each night and weekends.  Guilt that is sometimes so crippling you feel like you're suffocating.  Yup...been there.  

H is for Husband: Andy may get on my nerves now and again, but I never forget how lucky I am to have him.  He's such a hands on Dad, which makes up for the fact that he's hands off when it comes to housework.  I know that he loves me and our daughter and I know that he helps in his own way and I need to remember that as I'm picking up the socks off the floor that are literally a quarter inch from the hamper.  

I is for Isolation: I don't think anyone can prepare you for just how isolating motherhood can be.  Just how alone you can feel at times.  
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Rachel said...

Very good post! Can't wait to see the rest!

Pepper Glenn said...

These ABC's are so true. It was a huge suprise for me to find my entire world tipped upside-down after my first baby arrived. It is true that the rules change- and keep changing- things are never the same and it is so hard to adapt!!!

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