Friday, March 11, 2011

The ABC's of Parenting Part 2

J is for Judgement: You will be judged by other mothers and you will judge them back in return.  Breast or bottle, crib or family bed, juice or water, organic or not organic, solids at 4 months vs 6 months, TV or no TV, vaccinate or not, spanking or time out...are just some of the topics that we judge each other on.  I know it's not possible to completely be judgement free, I'm guilty of it myself.  Let's just try and remember that just because someone parents different than us, doesn't make them wrong.  

K is for Kaching!: Between diapers, food, and clothes that are continually being grown out of, add holidays and the never ending slew of children's birthday parties you need to attend and you've just about landed yourself in the poor house.  And with sites like Etsy that make it so difficult to resist buying up everything, plan on staying in that poor house for a while.  I don't even want to think about college tuition or weddings.  Should we all start hoping for our kids to be dumb and loveless?  

L is for Lazy: Somedays, especially rainy Sunday afternoons, I like to get a little bit lax in my parenting.  I get lazy and start breaking all the rules.  We stay in our jammies all day.  We don't eat one blessed meal at the table, instead we graze all day in front of the TV or while playing with toys.  I let her watch cartoons and you tube videos.  I don't cook anything, unless you count microwaving.  Maybe I give her a toy I've stashed away so I can read a little bit in peace.  Every now and then being a sloth is just what I need.  Luckily lazy days also have love and laughter. 

M is for Mess: mess that is everywhere.  On weekends I feel like all I do is clean dishes, do laundry, and pick up toys.  And every night after she goes to bed I pick up the house and for what?  In 12 hours it's going to be messy again anyway.  I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  

N is for Nasty: Sometimes being a parent is just plain nasty.  Whether you're picking your kid's boggers or cleaning projectile poop off the wall (true story), sometimes kids are just out and out gross.  Like the time I saw Isabella chewing on something, except it was between meal times, and when I went to investigate I found that she was eating last night's meatloaf straight out of the garbage like some sort of hobo.  Nasty.  

O is for Outbursts: a good, old fashioned, kicking and screaming, ranting and raving throw yourself on the floor tantrum.  Isabella can have several outbursts in a day or go for weeks without one.  This is the biggest problem with toddlerhood I think.  Imagine what life would be like if it were perfectly acceptable for adults to throw tantrums?  I'd throw like ten a day no sweat.  

P is for Play Dates: There's an element of politics to play dates.  Who do you invite?  Who do you not invite?  Stay in or go out?  Dealing with last minute cancellations and reservations and deciding on a time that doesn't conflict with nap time.  It can almost feel like a second job organizing these things, but there's one reason why I love the play date more than I love me some shirtless Johnny Depp, my kid is entertained by somebody that isn't me!  

Q is for Quiet: It's amazing what I'd be willing to barter for an hour of silence.  

R is for Relaxation: or should I say, relative relaxation because even when I do get my hour of silence or I've plopped down from the day casting my "to-do list" aside, I don't think I'm ever really relaxed.  I'm either thinking of all the things I still need to get done or I'm worrying, "She pulled on her ear tonight, does that mean she has an ear infection?"  "I need to plan my lessons for next week, it's already Thursday and I don't have time to stay after" "Gas prices are sky high, wtf am I going to do?"  and on and on it plays until I want to just unplug my brain.  

The ABC's of Parenting Part 1
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Rachel said...

I am loving this list!

bbjoys said...

Love this!

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