Monday, March 21, 2011

Awkward

I'm awkward.  It's really true.  I feel like I never really "fit in", kind of like a round peg in a square hole.  I never know the right thing to say, I usually feel fidgety and uncomfortable, and if I'm having a conversation I have more than a fair share of awkward silences.  I don't know if I necessarily come off as awkward, but I most certainly feel ill at ease inside, especially when I'm in a new situation or talking to a new person.

Some people can talk to anyone.  I feel like I make myself so unapproachable because I shy away from any extra social interactions because I don't really feel like I'm coming across the right way and because it seems to be such an awkward exchange that I almost want to say to whoever I'm talking to, "I know this is awkward, I know it and it's ok, you can excuse yourself."

It's not just with strangers or people I'm forced to have small talk with, it happens with my friends too.  The thing of it is, is that I know I'm smart, funny, and empathetic but I most definitely don't come off that way in conversation.  I envy people who can deliver a punch line or have a lengthy conversation with a stranger at a wedding.  It's just not me.
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5 comments:

Susanmeep said...

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misssrobin said...

I'm sorry this is difficult for you. Please don't hate me, but I'm one of those people who can talk to anyone. I wish I had some words of encouragement or advice, but since it's such a natural part of who I am I don't really know why I can and you can't.

The one thing I would say is that there is great value in being a quiet one as well. Some of my best friends are quiet -- probably why we get along so well.

Just be who you are and quit worrying about being who society thinks you should be. The more comfortable you become in your own skin, the more easily you will connect with others.

I guess I did have some advice after all. Take it or leave it. Best wishes.

Rachel said...

I have the same problem. After I leave a get together even with family or friends I spend the next two days worrying about what I said and if people think I am weird or if I insulted someone. I know for me it is mostly anxiety and I have plenty of that to go around! Even with blogs sometimes I leave a comment and then want to rush back and delete it...I am just that awkward and anxiety ridden.

Wiley said...

You are more what I have always assumed to be the norm. You just have worded it much better.

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

I have trouble getting warmed up at first, even with my very best friends! But once I get going, it's hard to get me to shut up.

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