Tuesday, April 26, 2011

In a Panic

I was kind of wishy washy about having another baby after Isabella was born, but eventually Andy and I decided that we eventually wanted one more.  We were thinking about starting to try next Spring-ish.  But then my cousin Nicole came over with her two girls who are 3 and 1 and I'm not gonna lie...it looked like a lot of work.

We're in such a routine now and it's so easy to take care of Isabella as she gets older.  Do I really want to mess with that?  It has to be so difficult to go back to that newborn stage where you're in a constant flux of feeding, cleaning up poop, and getting no sleep.  Then you have an energetic toddler on top of that.  How do you manage day trips out when you're juggling two completely different schedules?  I mean I know the baby stage eventually passes, but it takes a while.

Also, I'm alone a lot so could I do it by myself?  Could I go back to working all day on 3 hours of sleep?  I know tons of people do it and I really do want another child, I'm just in a bit of a panic when I think about the reality of it, because, oh boy do I know what's coming.

But I want Isabella to have a sibling.  Someone to play with and stay up late giggling with.  Someone who she can talk to when I'm too lame.  But I don't want to have a child just so she can have that.  It seems mean to baby #2.  And I also don't want to wait and then realize when Isabella is 10 that maybe I shouldn't have waited.

How did you decide on your family plans?  Any moms (or dads) out there who are happy with their singletons?  If you have two kids, how was the transition?
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10 comments:

MrsBro... said...

I'm not a good 1-2 person since we didn't plan, but I will admit that I thought it would be a lot worse than it was.
Don't let sleepless nights throw you off or the minute details of how it will work.
You'll be surprised how fast you can carry a toddler and an infant carseat or how fast bf-ing and coloring at the same time comes to you.
Now if we want to talk about silly people - we should talk about those with 3 kids!! _cough cough_ Jenny _cough cough_) :P

ShorT1882 said...

I hear ya...we do want another but like you said, as they get older it's a bit easier because they're more independent (and that's fabulous :-) ). BUT you see sooooo many people do it so I guess if they made it we can too!

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

Nate and I had a plan for #2. And then I started to freak out over how soon June 2011 was! So we are going to just let it happen when we feel ready instead. Who knows, maybe by June I'll feel more ready!

Jenny said...

We always knew we wanted 2-3 kids pretty close in age- we didn't plan for them to be quite so close but it has been so awesome. Yes, there are hard nights where you question what the heck did we do but it's in the moments where your kids play with each other or comfort the other when they are crying that you know exactly why you made the decision to have more. It sounds cheesy but it is seriously one of the most amazing things to watch develop.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I guess it's a tricky decision to make. I have an only child but I've never really been maternal. As my daughter is autistic the decision was easy for me; I didn't want to risk having another child with autism and besides, all the love I have goes on her.

Good luck with your decision. Remember, whatever you decide, it will be for the best. Life has a wonderful way of helping us make a choice that is eventually right for us.

CJ xx

C Lo said...

My kids are 5 and 4 years apart. I love the way I did it....enough space that I wasn't doing the "2 in diapers" thing. Enough space that the older sibling(s) could be helpers.

But........the downside is that you start that clock all over again. You get out of the baby phase and have peace and no diapers....AND THEN YOU START ALL OVER! I'll be 35 this year and I STILL have a kid in diapers. That idea can be daunting.

So.......I guess what I'm saying is that doing it now would be hard, but you'd get it all over with at once and you'd be able look forward to a time in the near future of NEVER doing that baby stuff again, you know?

And......the transition to two is REALLY HARD. I'm not gonna lie. The best advice I can give you is to just accept it, let your house be dirty, and let go. Because it's really hard but TOTALLY TOTALLY worth it. Two kids isn't twice as hard, it's 200 times as hard. But its also 2000 times as rewarding.

Oh Mammy said...

I can relate and my mind is wandering in the same general direction lately...
http://omammy.blogspot.com/2011/04/ovarian-pangs-what-is-it-like-to-have.html

Alex said...

well my son is 3 and now its when its getting easier... I want another baby pretty much for the same reasons as you.. I want him to have someone to talk to, to play with..I have a brother and I can't imagine what my life would have been like without him.. and I talk to so many people that were the "only child" and they all say the same thing.. that it was lonely.. I don't want my son to be lonely....now all I have to do is get my husband to want another child.. it would be my second.. but his 3rd..see my dilemma?

Sarah said...

I remember feeling that way when our first child was about two years old. I thought, maybe we could be ok only having one, we just got into a routine as a family! However, I didn't want a only child, I wanted our child to have a sibling, so we tried for baby #2 and it was so much easier the second time around. Then, SURPRISE! #3 was on the way born only 15 months after our second. So, we ended up with three, three girls and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Sarah said...

I remember feeling that way when our first child was about two years old. I thought, maybe we could be ok only having one, we just got into a routine as a family! However, I didn't want a only child, I wanted our child to have a sibling, so we tried for baby #2 and it was so much easier the second time around. Then, SURPRISE! #3 was on the way born only 15 months after our second. So, we ended up with three, three girls and I wouldn't have it any other way!

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