Thursday, April 21, 2011

Living Things

Anything that's ever come into my house that's been alive, save for Isabella, has died a tragic and neglectful death.  Newts, fish, and plants, even those little bamboo ones that you only need to water like once a week...dead.  I just don't have that nurturing ability or the ability to remember what needs to be cared for.  It's a good thing that babies can cry or Isabella might not be in such great shape.

Not only do I not have the inclination to take care of plants or animals, I don't really like them.  I tell Andy every Valentines Day not to buy me flowers because the petals fall off and I have to clean them up and they kind of make my house smell like a funeral home.  I also don't like animals.  It's not like I hate them and am mean to them, I was actually vegan for years because of the cruelty animals face in slaughterhouses, but I never really liked them.

We bought Isabella two beta fish and I nearly had a panic attack at Pet Co because it felt like such a huge commitment, even though the 18 year old ding bat who sold them to me promised that they would only need to be fed twice a week and their water changed once a month.  But honestly, they freak me out.  They're just in my house and all alive and swimming.  Isabella is over them so I suggested that we just flush them down the toilet.  Andy told me I was crazier than he thought and that he would be in charge of all future fish care.  I also worried that they're hungry which causes me to overfeed them, which makes their water cloudy, which causes Andy to remind me, yet again, that I am to have nothing to do with any fish care.

He also brought up the subject of getting a puppy.  Isabella would be happy in life if all she had was a puppy.  She loves them.  She loves to pet them and have them kiss her and jump all over her.  I think getting a puppy would put me right over the edge.  I like puppies, but I like them when they belong to other people.  I do not want one more thing in this house whose poop I need to shovel.  I don't care if the puppy is the size of a cell phone, I don't want it.  So Andy is currently trying to convince my mother to get a tiny little dog (the worst kind IMO) and we'll "timeshare" it.

I'm going on record as saying I think it's a terrible idea and if it comes to fruition there's a good chance I'll need some sort of anxiety medication.
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3 comments:

Rachel said...

I know the feeling! I am looking for a kitten just to prove that I am able to keep something alive. I hear they are pretty hearty? Plants are a no go, I killed my beta fish after just a month (you might not want to over feed it, or you may want to keep over feeding it depends how long you want it around...)

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

I never liked animals... till I got my own puppy. And now I still don't like other peoples' animals, but my puppy is the best puppy on earth.

misssrobin said...

We had so many pets as I grew up. I thought I would be totally great at the whole pet thing. Um, not so much.

Lots of pets have come and gone in our house. We currently have two cats and a dog. If I could think of a way to get rid of them without killing them or traumatizing or alienating my kids I would do it in a second. Poop, puke, and hair. All the time. And their food stinks and costs a lot. And they whine at me. Yeah, like I need another thing that whines at me.

Seriously, I'm just waiting until they die.

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