Monday, April 18, 2011

Secrets of Adulthood, Personal Commandments, and Bumps in the Road (HP)

I've dedicated Mondays as a day to update you all on my happiness project, if you give a flying hoot.  If you want to learn more about why I decided to start a happiness project and make the most out of my life you can read the first post HERE.

Secrets of Adulthood

There are some things that you learn as an adult  that just ring true.  They are undeniable truth's for you and these have helped guide me along so far in the first month of my happiness project.  Some of them are from the Happiness Project Book and some are my own.

1.  Doing something you know will make you happy in the long run, won't always make you happy in the moment.  This is so true and I'm seeing it in this month of Organization especially because, let me tell you scrubbing the toilet and reorganizing my tupperware is not fun and it doesn't make me happy when I'm doing it. However, when I go to pee or I want to store my leftovers and everything is neat and makes me really happy.

2.  Finish one thing before you start another, otherwise you'll have 5 half done chores and nothing crossed off the to-do list.  I used to always fall into this trap.  I'd start one thing then get side tracked with another.  Nothing got finished.  It would make me so frustrated.  I find though that if I stick to this and kind of repeat it when the temptation to switch activities mid-task, it keeps me focused on what I'm doing.

3.  It feels good to be acknowledged.  It shouldn't, but it does.  I'm all about the gold stars and the checks on my resolution chart on The Happiness Project Toolbox .  It motivates me.

I'm still trying to discover more.

Personal Commandments 

1.  Act the way I want to feel.  This is not always easy.  In fact sometimes it's downright difficult.  For example, this past weekend Andy and I went away for a few days just the two of us.  On the road trip back home, we stopped for coffee, I am a miserable testicle crusher when I'm without my morning Joe.  Andy went into Dunkin Donuts to grab our coffee, except when I tasted mine it tasted like pure sugar.  I was not happy.  It sent me into a funk that was disproportionate to the situation.  So I acted the way I wanted to feel.  I wanted to feel awake and energetic so I put on a good CD and we started singing and I held his hand and believe it or not, my coffee withdrawal angry fog lifted long enough for us to make it to the next rest stop.

2.  Be Light.  Sometimes I feel so heavy, like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  But I'm realizing more and more that I do that to myself.  Yes it's difficult to have a full time job and a baby.  Yes it's difficult to find time to work out.  Yes there's not enough time in the day for all of it to get done.  Yes it's hard to finish my 30 and above classes.  It's hard, but it's also wonderful and I don't want to trudge through these years, I want to enjoy them.  So sometimes, when Isabella insists on sitting on the counter I won't try a million things to get her off, I'll just let her sit on the counter and play for as long as she wants. I also don't want to be so snippy and snappy all the time.

3.  Be Melissa 

4.  Surround Myself with Happy Things.  It's a lot easier to be happy if I'm surrounded by things that already make me happy.  It's little things that make me happy.  I'm happiest when Andy and Isabella are with me.  Slippers make me insanely happy.  Hot coffee and a good book make me happy.  The smell of fresh laundry makes me happy.  A to-do list that is mostly crossed off by Thursday makes me happy.  A full DVR, a glass of wine, and a night to myself makes me happy.  The smell of the slow cooker makes me happy.  Scented candles, open windows, and lots of sunshine make me happy.  Whenever I can I will fill my life with these small things.

5.  Find the positive.  It's easy to be negative, to believe all the bad things you think about yourself and the world around you.  It is work to search out and seek the positive.  But positive thoughts attract positivity and it's a wonderful circle if you can jump on.

Bumps in the Road

This month hasn't been a honkey dory smile fest, and I've hit some bumps in the road.  I said that I wouldn't get upset with Andy for not helping because this was my thing and as long as he didn't make it worse I would be ok.  But sometimes I found myself being resentful as I spent 2 hours after Isabella went to bed cleaning the kitchen until it sparkled and the next day I found 3 dishes on the counter...not in the sink or the dishwasher where they belong, but just sitting on the counter 2 inches away from the sink.  Cue blood boiling.  Or when I asked him if he would just fold the hand towel after he used it and instead I find it splayed across the bathroom counter.  But I held strong and I would, lightly, remind him if he would just try his best to keep things as I had them.  I mean it's not like putting a dish in the sink is back breaking work.  And I found the less I nagged, the more he was willing to help.  Like when I came home the other day to the dishwasher completely emptied and my favorite wine on the counter.

I've also not had one perfect day.  Not one where I hit all my resolutions.  Some days are better than others and all I can do is do my best.

If anyone is interested in starting there own happiness project, e-mail me at and maybe we can help each other out.  I was going to add a linky, but I didn't want to be presumptuous.
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Kristin Faulkenberry said...

Sounds like ur making progress..I'm glad ur sharing the details along the way!

Kristin from our growing garden said...

very inspiring, love!

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