Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Battles

There are so many wonderful things about toddlerhood, teething is on the way out, speaking in full sentences eliminates the guessing games of the baby stage, and outings are a lot more fun because she can enjoy it more and knows what's going on.  However, with all of those good things comes autonomy, which sounds good in theory, but in practice...not so much.

Sometimes I feel like every new step of the day is a battle.  There's the battle for diaper changing.  Whenever I even mention a diaper change she usually says, "Not yet...tomorrow."  When I finally do get her, there's a lot of wiggling and wrestling and yelling.  Sometimes she breaks away bare assed and before I can catch her there's a pee puddle on the floor.  It's friggen exhausting.

Then there's the battle to leave any place that we're at.  If there's a ball pit, a slide, a swing, or another kid that she likes and it's time to go you can sure as shit bet that there will be tears, screams, protests, and going boneless.  So I either have to bribe her with a lollipop, because I've officially given up my idea of becoming "World's Best Mom" or I have to just scoop her up and make a run for it.

Then it's the battle of when she wants to do something and I don't want her too.  Like when she wants to climb up on the table and dance like it's a stage or when she wants to keep playing with my iPhone and I want her to eat dinner.  She's pretty belligerent about not getting her way and I'm pretty stubborn myself so it definitely can get ugly.

Let's talk about the eating battle.  This battle is more subtle and I revert to gorilla warfare.  I use purreed veggies to trick her into eating them.  Although now she does eat carrots and red peppers.  But sometimes she doesn't want to eat anything, so I let her chew with her mouth open because she thinks it's hi-larious and it ensures she's getting at least a little something in her stomach.

When I watch other mom's battle with their kids, it looks treacherous.  Some days it doesn't feel so bad, but other days I'm just depleted.  What are some of the battles you fight with your demon seeds?
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6 comments:

Iowa Sunshine said...

i really enjoy your blog -- so real and i can relate to nearly every post! i especially enjoy the posts related to friends ... i struggle with those same things.
my son is two ... now battling not wanting to brush his teeth, as in him near-vomiting to have a couple of swipes of the toothbrush. he doesn't want to hold hands and wants to run in parking lots -- bad pairing! let's hope these battles end soon. i know there are others ahead, but these just feel horrid at times!

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

Laura fights diapers, daycare drop-off, dinner, the baby gate keeping her from the stairs, the lock on the screen door keeping her from the outside... We have many battles, and it's only gonna get worse!

ShorT1882 said...

god, I can relate E....Evelyn turned 18 months today and with that, a switch got flipped. I think I am the mother of pure evil sometimes

Mommy092209 said...

you seriously just described my entire night! NOOOOOOOOOO is our new favorite word!
God bless you for posting this because I am about to lose my friggin mind and was starting to take it personally. My daughter is 22 months and she, unfortunately for me, has inherited her momma's temper and persistence. Anyway, thank you for writing this. It has made me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one!
and, uh, this too shall pass, doesn't make getting out of the house any easier. Knowing someone else is going through the same thing is comforting though.

Kaymee said...

oh my goodness, eating is a neverending battle in our house. It's horrendous, really.

Ginger said...

awww I just want to hug you so hard right now!!! That autonomy is SO HARD, because she needs boundaries, but doesn't like that she's not in control of everything.

Mine is now 8, and I can honestly say it DOES get easier, but it's a long, hard ride.

My number one tip to help reduce fights (it's not fool proof, but nothign is with kids), especially in public, is to give her a time warning. i.e. "We will be leaving in 5 minutes! This is your 5 minute warning!"

I found for my kiddo, the fact that she didn't have a concept of time didn't matter - she knew things were ending soon. When she was little, I'd give more updates again at 3 mins and 1 minute, and if I was feeling generous, suggest that she wrap it up, etc.

We still use the warning system, and it works wonders now that she's a mostly logical 8 year old. 5 minute warning at the playground means she crams in one last game of tag with her friends, and when I say it's time to go, she lets her friends know, and we leave.

She might complain privately that she wasn't ready to go, but we don't have knock down, drag out fights anymore, and it's helped tremendously with our mom/daughter relationship.

That said, there were days we didn't go anywhere because of the tantrums. It's perfectly understandable with a young kiddo, so don't be embarassed and just focus your eyes on the end goal!

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