Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Used To Be Pretty

I remember when I was younger and I had a rocking bod and a much higher opinion of myself.  I used to look in the mirror and think that my face was really pretty.  I never was happy with my body, but looking back in pictures it was pretty fantastic.  I would go to a bar and easily say that I was in the top 10 prettiest girls there.  Maybe even top 5 if it was that kind of night.  Now it might have been the truth or it might have been a high dose of self-confidence.

Now I look in the mirror and I see paunch in my belly.  I see wrinkles near my eyes.  And I don't know if this is possible, but I feel like my chin and nose have grown a little bit.  My teeth aren't as white and there's considerably less space between my thighs.  I was at a bar with some girl friends for happy hour and I don't know what's up with these 22 year old co-eds who still have gravity in their corner and Kim Kardashian hair, but man we didn't even place in the top 25.

It can be painful to watch your beauty fade.  It sounds vain, but Lord help me if it ain't the truth.

Getting older isn't always pretty, but let me tell you I sure am working on it.  I may not be able to channel my perky boobed, flat bellied, flawless skin self, but I'm trying to work with what I got.

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Hunter's Mom said...

Great post. I think what I've learned is that no matter how bad you think you might look, when you're looking back at today's you 10 years later, you'll wish you still looked like that. LOL

It's hard to be a woman.

Kaymee said...

Awesome post! You are beautiful. You birthed a sweet baby girl, and that is one of the most beautiful things in the world :)

Rachel said...

The way I see it is you have a beautiful little girl that your body nourished, that your arms comfort and them thighs chase after! There is no amount of beauty greater than that! Those twenty somethings in the bar with the perky boobs and big hair have no clue about gravity or the amazing things their body can do!

Eschelle said...

I know that EXACT feeling... oi vey and i'm young! lol

Shell said...

It's hard to let go of our looks. I'm fighting against letting them go. ;)

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Twinpossible said...

You know this is so true. I looked up this topic and happened upon your post.

There was a time I placed in the top 5 if not the best there (because it was said to me), but I never saw it. I had a VERY low opinion of my looks due to bullying formerly, and a bad parental upbringing. Not to mention an abusive ex.

By the time my time in the sun came, I didn't even know it. People were always telling me, but I couldn't tell what the fuss was all about. I thought they were lying and I was still ugly. How do you believe it when the opposite was so well ingrained early on? I cried over wanting to be beautiful, but I WAS. I wish I had enjoyed it while it had lasted.

At 36 now, I look back at pictures and I WISH with all of my heart and soul I could look like that again. Have guys falling at my feet and feel confident instead of still feeling miserable inside. I'd have enjoyed it more. Guys loved me because I was down to Earth. Duh.. I didn't see my beauty of course I was, not that I'm the type who ever would have gotten cocky.

Now my skin has sallowed from endless amounts of stress throughout life. Premature aging, large pores, hair loss, the body has survived 5 kids but it's still not 17 anymore, besides who wants to be a buttaface anyways?

My nose definitely grew to..how weird. I almost don't recognize myself, and in many pics of 10+ years ago, neither do my own kids. It's sad, and it sucks, and it will only get worse and knowing this BLOWS! I don't know how to accept it and grow old gracefully.

It is what's on the inside that matters most, but what I say is...it's better to have never had then to have had and lost. That is an awful feeling. Very sad indeed.

What is also quite sad is to think as how yucky I feel I look today, 5,10 years from now, I'll look back on photos and do what I do of ones in my late teens and 20's now. I wish I looked like that again, though I can't begin to imagine it.

Guess we got to hold on to what's most important...OUR KIDS! Being a mom, and loving our families. I still do the best I can to get my makeup on, dress nicely, and buy myself something here and there. It helps. I encourage every mom who feels frumpy to do the same.

Best wishes. New follower/friend,


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