Monday, July 18, 2011

I Haz the Sad

I usually post my happiness project updates on Mondays, but today I am sad.  Not cry into your pinot sad, just the regular kind of sad.  It's about work and I'm not sure exactly what I can and can't write about when it comes to my job, so I'm just going to stick to the bare bones of it.

I worked as a regular classroom teacher for 5 years.  A few years in 2nd grade and a few years in 3rd grade and I loved it, but then last year my boss offered me an out of the classroom position as a reading teacher and I was thrilled.  There are limited out of classroom positions available and I felt really honored that she thought of me to fill the position.  And I loved doing it.  I loved working with all different groups of kids, I loved pushing into classrooms and working with teachers, and I loved helping with professional development.  But I recently found out that due to budget cuts, my position was cut and I'm going back into the classroom.

I am so grateful that I still have a job and that I'm going back into 3rd grade, which is the last grade I taught, back to gifted, and back to my old room.  But I'm still kind of sad about it.  I had some really big plans for my lessons for the upcoming school year and I can't use them now.  I also shared a room with two great girls who I really love both personally and professionally and it really stinks that I won't be with them next year.  That makes me extra sad.  And honestly, my pride and ego are really bruised.  I know that most people will realize that it's budgetary and will be supportive, but there are some real douche's who I know will almost enjoy the misfortune, because some people really do rejoice in other people being upset.  And I just don't like when I'm the highlight of gossip and talking.

So today, instead of being happy, I'm nursing my ego and letting myself be a little bit sad.
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6 comments:

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

It's ok to be a little sad. But just think of all the great kids you'll be able to work so closely with this year! Third grade was my favorite as a kid, so maybe I'm just partial ;-)

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling sad but it is a healthy emotion to have and I'm sure it'll pass. I always believe that everything happens in life for a reason. I'm sure the reason behind why this has happened will become clear soon.

CJ xx

Wiley said...

I think it's justified. Be sad, process and then go back to conquering the universe!

mtendere said...

That really stinks. Happens a lot with that kind of position, as you know, but that doesn't make it any easier. I think you're allowed to spend some time being sad and then move on to getting excited about the new school year. Hopefully your experience in that position will open lots of doors for you in the future.

Rachel said...

Its OK to be sad when things change so much all at once! Soon I am sure you will grow excited about what the coming year will bring!

Stephanie said...

I would be sad just moving from one grade level to another, let alone from one position to another! As educators, we become SO attached to "normality" in a school--grade levels, positions, assistants, principals--so I hope your sad doesn't linger long.

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