Tuesday, July 5, 2011

July's Happiness Theme...Friendship

Really focusing on my marriage during June was a great experience, but after thinking about Andy for an entire month I'm ready to keep with my resolutions, but move to something else.  This month I'm working on my friendships.  I found interpersonal relationships are harder for me to work on than intrapersonal relationships, but I'm really weird when it comes to friendships so I'm facing this month with a mixture of excitement towards making things better and trepidation, because...well, I'm weird about my friendships.

When my mom was growing up, she was really poor and she didn't have very many friends.  As a result, she made me feel that having friends was of the utmost importance and I get it; she wanted me to have what she didn't, but sometimes she was really mean about it.  I didn't want to go to a slumber party once because I was too insecure to sleep out, and she told me I was a social handicap.  Which makes me think...was I? or was she putting me under too much pressure?  It made me almost desperate for friends, which made me needy, which is not the best type of friend attractor.

I'm older now, but still fall on some of my old habits.  Only now I oscillate between, "Omg we're bff's" and  not even bothering to pick up a phone.  But I know friendships are important and I love my old friends.  I love Meaghan, Christie, Nicole, Crotch, Kristy, Christina, Lara, Jen, Teresa, Nicole, Alley, Jasmine, and Jennifer.  And I love my budding friendships, Amy and Monica.  I want them to know that they are important to me.  I want to be a good friend without being obnoxious.  And in some cases I might need to let friendships go.  Sometimes people just change and evolve and they don't "fit" anymore.

Here are this month's resolutions:

Make an effort: Call, e-mail, or text a friend every day.  A simple, "I'm thinking of you" text won't drain my time, a catch up phone call isn't going to kill anyone.

Get together: Hang out...make time to be together.  Whether it's a play date or a girls night out or a movie night in.  Just make the time to be together.

Be accountable: I don't always answer e-mails, phone calls or texts right away.  Sometimes I can't take my phone out because Isabella jumps on it, but other times I get the message and I'm busy and say, "Oh, I'll get back to her" and I forget and they go unanswered.  Not cool.

I'm hoping this month will be as good as all of the other's and that I'll really see a difference.
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