This month's Happiness Project theme is Parenting and Lordy me it couldn't have come at a better time. I've been home for over a month now and while I'm relishing the quality time I'm getting to spend with Isabella, there are definitely some things that I'm struggling with and I'm not too proud to admit it or too full of excuses to work on it. That's really the whole point of this happiness journey, to work on the things that need to be worked on, get rid of the things that need to be gotten rid of, and continue on with the things that are working.
I love being a mom. I love the dampness of Isabella's freshly washed hair when she nestles into my arms before bed, I love that every morning when I come into her room she gives me a big smile and shouts, "I'm awake!", I love watching her and Andy wrestle around on the floor. But it would be a bold faced lie if I told you, besides love and kisses, she also gives me stress, worry, frustration, anxiety, and has been the cause of many a mommy meltdowns. There have been sleepless nights, sleep training and re-training and re-training yet again, Christmas and birthday costs have significantly increased and it takes about an hour to get out of the house because she has to do everything, "All by myself!"
I'm never going to be a super mom whose hair is perfectly blown out, whose home is spotless, whose child is a well-behaved angel, and has dinner on the table every night at 6pm. I don't know if that woman exists anywhere but in our mind, mocking us in her 50's frock and pearls. But I'm not the best mom I could be. I get angry. I yell. I get snippy. I get frustrated. There are a lot of areas that I need to work on and so I'm taking this month to become better.
Here are my resolutions for the month:
Be a treasure trove of happy memories: Gretchen Rubin talks about this in The Happiness Project book and I think it's a great idea. Life flies by too quickly, and I want to remember all of it. And while I do have this blog to look back on, honestly, it's really more about me then her. So I want start a one sentence journal where I jot down one sentence, I can't commit to any more, about Isabella that day. I also want to create a lot of happy memories.
Lighten Up: I get way too snippy way too fast. Sometimes I need to chill the hell out and realize that she's only two. I also need to realize that if she'd rather prance around like a ballerina then go to swim class, that's ok, every once in a while. Sometimes we can have pancakes for dinner and the world won't come to a crashing hault.
Lighten up: I need to stop getting so angry and be more positive around her. Sometimes I say things that are really mean, like grandma won't come today because you're crying too much. So mean! If there were cameras in my house you guys would probably hate me. Although, if there were cameras in your house maybe I'd hate you too.
Discipline in love: All children need discipline. I'll be the first to admit that I'm probably a bit too lenient and too inconsistent. I'm just not sure where to start. So I'll be spending some time research and trying a consistent discipline plan. If you have any suggestions here, I'd love to hear it.
Here's to focusing on my most important role.