Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Excuses, Excuses

We all make choices as parents.  Every day, sometimes it seems like every second, we make choices for our children.  Sometimes we make the same choices and sometimes they're completely different.  I don't care whether you breast feed your baby until she's two or use formula straight from the get go.  It doesn't affect me if you chose to sleep in a family bed or not.  The only thing that does get to me is when people don't own their choices; when they make excuses for their decisions.

When I was a brand new mom, I was always really self-conscious about what other people thought about my parenting.  If Isabella would cry in public I would automatically get really embarrassed and assume that people thought I was a terrible mother.  I'm a stickler for schedules so when I would plan dates around Isabella's nap times and bed time I would worry that people would make fun of me behind my back.  But you know what?  I grew into my mommy skin and now I stand proud by the choices I've made.

I let Isabella cry it out when she was a baby.  For me personally, that was what worked the best and now she knows how to put herself to sleep and sleep straight through the night.  I used to tell people, "Oh, I work so I'm tired and needed something to teach her to sleep quickly."  I said that excuse because I was worried people would think me cruel for letting my baby cry at night.  But honestly, I just needed sleep and so did she, that worked the quickest so that's what I did.  I think it makes me a good mom that I taught my child to sleep by herself, but that's my choice.  Now when I talk to other moms about sleeping and sleep training comes up, I hear the excuses.  "I'm scared he's going to climb out of the crib" "She just cries and never sleeps it doesn't work" "He cries so hard that he gags."  And I just want to tell them that it's ok if you don't feel comfortable sleep training, but just say it.  You don't need to make excuses for your decisions, least of all to me because I'm fumbling around in the dark half the time hoping to keep the child out of therapy.  Just own your choices.  If you don't feel comfortable with day care you're not going to offend me because I send Isabella.  I won't feel slighted if you still give your 2 year old a bottle just because I stopped at 1.

Don't make excuses for your decisions and don't make people feel that they need to make excuses for theirs.  We're all in this together and I think we're all doing a great job!
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