Thursday, August 11, 2011

From High Chair to Throne

When I was growing up, motherhood was a lot different.  I mean aside from the fact that I had no car seat when leaving the hospital, slept on my belly from day 1, and I'm fairly certain my mother smoked during her pregnancy.  Things were very different in other ways.  We spent most of my time playing outside, we ate what was cheap, and, to put it bluntly, we weren't little douche bags.

I feel like many kids today, and not all of them so don't get your panties in a wad, are treated like lords and ladies of the castle and I'm wondering how they made the progression from high chair to throne?

It's not easy to say no.  It's a lot easier to give in then to deal with the screaming and the tantrums (please tell me it's not just my kid).  And I realize that there are many more families today where both parents work outside the home and that brings a lot of feelings of guilt with it (again, I'm not the only one right?).  But sometimes I catch myself trying to coax or coddle Isabella and I have to stop and tell myself, "Hey, I'm the mother, she's two, things are going my way"  Now she may not like it, but sometimes that's just tough.  I'm the mom and if I need to change her diaper or if we need to leave a play date then we're doing it.  It doesn't have to be mean, but sometimes I have to be firmer than what I see other moms doing.

Sometimes you just have to say the word no and stick to it.  I mean heavens forbid that a child should hear the word no directed directly at them.  Because, heaven knows, that as adults we never hear the word no.  So when our little lordlings grow up and ask their professor for extra credit and he, heaven forbid, tells said lord "no".  What happens then?  Sometimes, embarrassing as it is, and it really can be mortifying.  Just let them have their tantrum.  Let them have their moment and drag them, kicking and screaming out of the blessed place where their at or if it's at home leave the room avoiding the urge to duct tape their mouth shut or lock them in a padded cell.  Say no and mean it.

I try and make dinner as often as I can.  Usually 5 or 6 times a week.  Sometimes it's really healthy, organic, and nutritious and sometimes its hot dogs.  Whatevs.  If Isabella doesn't eat what I make she can have cereal or yogurt.  I won't make her go hungry or eat something that she doesn't like, but I won't be a short order cook.  If she throws it on the floor, the meal is over and thats that.

But sometimes I do find myself bending the rules to her whim and I guess that's ok from time to time, but I really don't want her to be one of the kids I see in my school who are rude, entitled, and think it's fine to talk back to the teacher and their parents have their back regardless of the heinous stuff that they've done.  When I was in school my parents believed the teacher and I got in trouble if I didn't do my homework or if I called out in class.  There was none of this, "Oh, she's just a kid" nonsense.

I don't know.  I'm kind of rambling, but I just feel like kids have all the power and parents bend to their will.
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Katie said...

Well girl is only 5 months old, so I can't speak for what it's like to say no, but I share the same attitude as you at this point!

Linda Jordan said...

I agree with you as well! I used to teach preschool and I had my own room full of 3 year olds...all types of them. And from what I've seen, the children that act like prince/princesses that deserve everything are the ones that are babied and have everything done for them. I've spoken with many parents that felt like that were being a good parent by doing things for their child such as dressing them, feeding them, etc. even when they were old enough to do it for themselves. I have found, that if children are pushed to learn to do these things for themselves they become more mature and less bratty. It might take a little longer for a 3 year old to dress themselves [and it might take 3 tries to get the pants on the right direction], but in the end they will be better for it. I think it's important that parents take the time to education themselves at what children are capable of at different ages and to push their children [lovingly & encouragingly of course] to accomplish these things on their own. In the end, everyone ends up happier! :)

Sharon @ said...

Too true. Well said. Other than giving me the strength to keep up the fight :-), what I got from that is as a working mom, you manage to cook dinner that many times a week. So you're basically my hero.

Jenalee said...

Very well said! I'm a substitute teacher and cannot believe the way some of these kiddos act. The parents must go CRAZY.

I'm really going to try hard to raise my son the way my parents raised me.

Jo said...

You go girl!
I really whish more parents had this attitude. It's our job to teach our kids how to be responsible, how to respect authority and what real life is about. If they never hear no from us their parents and if we never teach them that there are consequences for their actions how will they grow up to be well adjusted adults.

My husband always tell me it's not our job to be their friends it's our job to parent them.

And wow you work and manage to cook 6 times a week! I'm well impressed!

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