Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Oh the Things that I Think

The alarm clock goes off around 5:45 am and here is how the rest of the day plays out in my head...

Seven hells that alarm clock is so obnoxious.  I'm not a religious person but I swear to God that is what hell must sound like.

Do I really need to wash my hair today?  Nope!  Ponytail.  Maybe if I put a braid in the front people will think it's fancy not dirty.

This isn't wrinkled I'll wear this.

If I chew very lightly on the right side this banana almost tastes like bacon, egg, and cheese.  Will I ever be thin enough to enjoy a guilt free breakfast sandwich again?

Speaking of guilt...why the hell do I feel guilty about everything?  I blame Sister Jean and Sister Lora for years of guiltwashing me.

Why is there always so much traffic in Staten Island?  If the toll goes up again I swear I'm writing my congressman.

I have so much paper work to do.

With each passing moment I spend in this classroom with these kids I'm starting to believe that the old addage, "There's no such thing as a stupid question" is a giant farce.

I'm tempted to change my name just so I don't have to hear these kids say it 50 times a day.

Thank God it's lunch...oh wait, hummus and carrots...lame sauce.

I'm so happy I'm home so I can squeeze my Isabella.

Why won't this kid hug me?  Maybe she has some sort of hugging disorder.

Nevermind, she's hugging Andy.  What the hell? I was with this kid nearly every day for 10 weeks, I'm back to work for 2 and I'm dirt.  Maybe I'm just a shitty ass parent.  Does this kid even love me?

Should I have wine tonight or tea?  I really want wine, but Dr. Oz is constantly extolling the virtues of consuming green tea.  Oh fuck it I'm having wine.

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Erin said...

Hahaha. If you put a braid in your hair it definitely looks fancy not dirty. I think the same thing all the time. I mean who really wants clean hair?

And the hugging thing? Well Baby J is only 5 months old but you can tell he prefers his dad already. WTH? Theyre suppose to at least like mom more for the first couple of years, right?!

MrsBro... said...

This is awesome. Braid definitely makes if fancy
_passes hand over braid in my hair_

Mrs Gloves said...

I have the same thoughts running through my mind often!

Tam said...

Ha ha, I love your blog. I truly laughed out loud at this stuff because I swear the same words could/would come out of my mouth. Have you tried Dry Shampoo yet? I'm a big fan, but then again, I can't braid to save my life.

Working Mommy said...

I'm guilty of the ponytail - all the time...sometimes I forget how long it has been since I've showered - but don't tell on me!


lady gray said...

ohhh mama, i miss you so. i feel you on so many of these things, that i laughed out loud.

big hugs. :)

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