Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Acceptable Reasons for Tantrums

A Toddler's List of Acceptable Reasons for Tantrums

1.  I wanted a red lollipop and all you have left is yellow.
2.  My peas touched my mashed potatoes
3.  You won't let me drive the car.
4.  You won't let me have chocolate covered pretzels for dinner.
5.  You're washing my hair when you know I prefer it dirty.
6.  That little girl looked like she might try and take my toy
7.  You put my hair in a headband when I waned it in a ponytail, but I want you to put it in a ponytail without brushing it while I'm running around the house.
8. You sang along to the theme song of Olivia and I can't abide tone deafness on my favorite show.
9.  Anytime I have to leave a party/park/show/museum.  It's happening.
10.  Whenever another kid gets too close to you because even though you're a huge pain in the ass and you try to run my life, you're my mom.

An Adult's List of Acceptable Reasons for Tantrums

1.  You're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and are going to be late for work because of people rubber necking a fender bender pulled off to the shoulder.
2.  There's no more coffee.
3.  There's no more wine.
4.  You brought a salad to lunch because you had every intention of being skinny this week, but now that lunch time is here you want to throw the salad at your skinny co-worker and tackle her for her plate of left over pasta.
5.  You run into that bitch from high school with her pencil skirt and high heeled pumps, while you're wearing stained sweat pants and your husbands T-shirt.
6.  You're having a "fat" day.  Your pants don't fit, you feel bloated and gross and what do you find on your door step? BAM! Your husband's copy of maxim with a perky boobed, flat bellied, cellulite free Jessica-Minka-Christina whatever staring you in the face.  And the thought that they're probably air brushed brings you no comfort.  (This is only on a fat day, on a normal day it might have no effect whatsoever, which will keep the man of the house wondering if maybe you really are crazy)
7.  You can't wait to try out a new recipe, just to realize half way in that you're out of the key ingredient.
8.  Anything that involves traffic, the road shoulder, and a douche bag.
9.  When you get dressed up looking all pretty and go out with your girlfriends and no one even leers at you suggestively.
10.  When you spot that first sprout of silver hair on your head.
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mtendere said...

Love this!

Kelli said...

This is great!!

Melissa said...

What a well made list...I have been known to engage in a few adult tantrums because of several of those mentioned!Love it!

Shell said...

Ha! I've had tantrums over some of these!

Marvelous Mommy said...

LMAO!!! So funny yet so true!! :-)

Silverfaerie said...

See....we all throw tantrums, we never grow out of it, the only that changes is our list of priorities.

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