Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Have You Ever Been So Drunk...?

Have you ever been so drunk that you think McDonald's is a great idea at 3 am?

That you have a "Dougie" off with a giant,  black man and win with an entire bar cheering you on?

That you rename a gay man Ezekiel so his name is just as biblical as his life partner who is named Jesus, even though Ezekiel's real name is John, which is one of the four books of the Bible?

That you get a shoe shine from a man in a tin foil hat and a purple suit?

That you drunk text someone completely inappropriate, like the girl from work to tell her that you just schooled some dude at doing the Dougie?

That you saw a girl slide on her ass all the way down an entire flight of stairs and you're first reaction was to laugh, and wondering if she was ok was a distant after thought, after checking to see if your friends saw it too?

Well I have.  Don't worry folks, this was just one really drunken/really fun night this past weekend, not a bunch of different days.  A few girlfriends and I went out this weekend to some dive bar in the Village section of Manhattan.  I'm practically married to my house in the sense that I'm a super anti-social homebody so when I do get out for a night out of drinking and dancing with the girls I tend to go a little hog wild.

But you know what's the pits after a night like that?  When you wake up and you're hit with that, "Holy fucking shit, how embarrassed am I right now.  WTF was I thinking trying to Dougie in public, I know I have no rhythm and I probably woke up poor Danielle to tell her about my exploits and she probably doesn't even believe I won because she knows I'm clumsy.  And that McDonald's will take me exactly 172 hours of running to work off.  And OMG, why did I stay out so late, when I have the breast cancer walk so early.  I'm such a hot mess.  I swear this is why I don't go out.  I'm too old for this crap."

But even remorseful and a little embarrassed, I had a kick ass time.
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Erin said...

OH-EM-GEEEE!! Love this story of your escapades. And yes, the next morning embarrassment is why I've stopped drinking in public lol :)

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