Tuesday, November 8, 2011


I was watching Peter Pan Return to Neverland (or something to that affect) the other day with Isabella, or rather I was watching it and she was smooshing play doh into the carpet and at the end of it Peter Pan sees Wendy all grown up and she tells him that she never stopped believing in him, to which he responds with a, "well why did you leave in the first place dumb ass you're all different now" and she says "I had to grow up."

I found this exchange to be extraordinarily profound.  I think because for the first time in a long time I'm actually feeling my age and I'm finally accepting of the fact that we can't be young and carefree forever, that, in fact, we all must eventually grow up and leave Neverland, which makes me really sad.  I mean being a grown up is kind of cool sometimes, like you can have breakfast for dinner whenever you want and you can pick out your own clothes and if another grown up yells at you you can sure as shit yell back. That's cool stuff.  But sometimes being a grown up kinda blows.  Like you have to get up and go to work everyday, you have to stick to a budget, you have to make schedules, try not to get too fat, make time for friends, get wrinkles, get ugly, get old.  That's some tough stuff.

When I was a kid I was really imaginative and creative.  I would read a book or see a movie and become so inspired that I had to create something just as powerful.  You know that feeling of inspiration that just fills you up and consumes you...makes you feel alive.  I feel like the older I get, and the further away I get from the proverbial Neverland, the harder it is for me to feel that sort of inspiration.  The kind of inspiration that makes you think you can take over the world.  I miss it.  I just feel that I'm so bogged down and overwhelmed and overstressed and overtired that when that feeling comes it's fleeting because I don't have time to nurture it.

The thing about Neverland is that you had to choose to leave it, but here time kind of pushes us out of it. And rightly so, because don't you just have to give the old side eye when you see a 40 year old dressing and acting like a teenager or a 50 year old man with a 20 year old girlfriend.  Puh-lease.  But I do think that keeping a bit of childhood, of innocence, of inspiration, of being carefree is important lest we all become insufferable drolls which is where I feared I was heading.

So the moral of the story is that Disney Movies can really mind fuck you.
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Krystina said...

What a flipping gorgeous and perfect post... It's so well put and I can't imagine anyone can't relate to this sentiment. I'm at a place in my life where I'm sort of on the brink... I'm not married yet, I don't have kids, but I'm living and working in the real world, post college, having to deal with grown up things. What's worse, I work at Disney so I'm perpetually in a state of being around child-like wonder. Then I leave work and the bills and the real world smack me in the face. Trying to hold on to the inspiration and goodness as long as I can. Thanks for this great post.

Iris said...

I have just nominated your blog for a Liebster blog award.

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