Thursday, November 3, 2011

When the Mask Comes Off

Now that Halloween is winding down and the costumes and make up and masks are getting put away and we are no longer pretending to be someone else, the question arises...who am I really?  Don't go rolling your eyes, this isn't another post where I whine about mourning for my pre-baby self.  This post isn't really like that.  Let me explain.

Think about it.  How much of our adult lives do we spend pretending?  We're all, "Hello, how are you? Glad to hear it.  I'm fine thanks for asking.  Have a great day."  It's so trite, but a necessary part of being in the real world.  We act one way with our boss, another way with colleagues.  With one group of friends maybe we're a little bit reserved...a watered down version of ourselves.  Maybe with our close friends and family we can really let ourselves loose, if we're lucky.

It begs the question, who am I?  I have a fairly decent grasp of who I am as a person.  I know what I like...I know what I don't like.  But I spend so much time wondering and worrying about what Joe Schmo thinks about me and trying to act the part that sometimes I really just lose sight of myself.

When I was younger I used to be really outgoing and friendly and now I'm all reserved, shy, and awkward.  Has time and experience just morphed me?  Or is a really friendly person trapped down deep inside, hidden by a bad case of bitch face and idle small talk?  I don't know.  But I love being in an atmosphere of growth so I definitely plan to find out who I am when the lights are out and the masks are off.
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Wiley said...

I like the idea of What you see is what you get as a person.. I think I do it pretty well, but always good to have a reminder to focus a bit more.

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