Wednesday, April 11, 2012

On The Day I'm Crazy

On a normal day Andy's Maxim  magazine will come and I'll give it a once over, see if there's anything I might want to read and then go about business without giving it a second thought.

But on the day I'm crazy...I'll look at the model on the cover.  Notice how her belly doesn't pooch, her ass doesn't pucker, and her thighs don't touch.  I'll convince myself that I'll never look like her, never be beautiful, and Andy will surely leave me for a super model (because, you know, they're all throwing themselves at him).

On a normal day when Isabella acts up, I'll count her out or let her have her tantrum or just grin and bare it and wait for it to pass.

But on the day I'm crazy...I'll think that I'm the worst parent that ever lived.  I'm too indulgent or too strict, not home enough, too hands off or too "hovering".  I have myself convinced that I've either completely ruined her and/or she has an inherent character flaw that will land her in therapy for the rest of her life...surely.

On a normal day, I'll look in my closet realize that I hate everything I own and try to work with what I have, vowing that this weekend I will go shopping for myself...for real this time.

But on the day that I'm crazy, I will look in my closet, realize I hate everything I own and have a mini-mental break down.  What am I going to wear?  Why did I buy this stuff, I hate it?  These pants make me look fat.  This is too fancy.  This is too casual.  Then I go online and buy $200 worth of stuff that doesn't fit and needs to be returned anyway.

On a normal day, if I can't join my friends in a fun outing, I get a little disappointed and go about my life.

But on the day that I'm crazy, I convince myself that I'm not really their good friend, that they never want me around, and that they'll never hang out with me or make time to see my daughter ever.

Sometime we all go a little mad I think.
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3 comments:

Danielle said...

Yes! Sometimes we do all go a little mad...(((hugs))) you are not alone mama!

Melinda@LookWhatMomFound...and Dad too! said...

I could have written this too. We all have our moments and are entitled to them

Jo said...

O that's so true...
Hope today is a normal day ;)

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