Friday, May 11, 2012

I Know

I know that my house will sell quickly and fairly.

I know that the anger and sadness will fade.

I know that I am grieving and should allow myself to do so.

I know that I will have a successful pregnancy with a happy and healthy baby.

I know that I am surrounded by people who love me.

I know that I can be happy without feeling guilty.

I know that I have been on the wrong side of every statistic that the doctor's have given me.  20% chance of a miscarriage. 1% chance of ectopic. 10% chance of a pseudosac in the uterus.  So when they told me that the metrotrexate had an 85% chance of working the first time around, I wasn't interested.  We'll see how it goes.

I know that I've been to the doctor's office 7 times in the last 3 weeks.

I know that I'm sick of waiting for this to be over.


I know that by waiting to have a second child I did no harm to Isabella not having a brother or sister closer to her age and shame on anyone who has tried to make me feel otherwise.  What's with the "She doesn't have anyone to play with," comments?  Ummm, I was saving money so I could buy a better home for her and I just wasn't ready.  People need to quit it with the highly inappropriate comments.  I own my choices.

I know that I'm ready to move on with my life.
post signature

5 comments:

Jo said...

You are right - only you know when you are ready for anything and what is right for you.
Live your life (& bugger the rest).

jennifereastman1973 said...

What a great post. I love your statement "I own my choices," well stated!!

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Screw them! It's not like Isabella is 15 years old or anything (which, by the way, is the age difference between me and my oldest bro and my closest sibling is 12 years older than me - and I turned out just fine). If anything, spacing your babies out a little bit will make your life so much easier! Right now I feel like I seriously could lose it at times with a toddler and infant. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers girl!

esquiremomma said...

Just wanted to say I have been there too and you WILL get through this and be stronger for it! It is so devastating to experience a loss at any stage - regardless of whether you have a chilld or not.

There is no right answer to child spacing! However well planned we try to make it, it is God's choice in the end. And it will end up being perfect for your family!

Best wishes for a speedy and healthy recovery, and a quick next BFP!

Tammy said...

Seriously, people have verbalized...OUT LOUD...the fact that Isabella doesn't have a sibling to play with?? OMG, beyond inappropriate. What makes them the expert? What you've been through is bad enough. Don't take their shiz!

Post a Comment

Have at it...and I will respond to all comments here so check back often to stay in the conversation.