Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Waiting Place

To me there is nothing worse than waiting.  Waiting for doctor's appointments.  Waiting in doctor's offices.  Waiting for test results.  Waiting for phone calls.  Waiting for blood work.  Waiting for answers.

The uncertainties are killing me.  I need, so desperately for this to be over.  I need to heal.  I need closure. I need to mourn this loss without worry of what's going to happen next.  I need to know that the methothrexate worked.  That I don't need another dose.  That my period will come.  That in a few months time I can start trying to get pregnant again.

I need this to be over.  I hate this place.  The waiting place.
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4 comments:

Jo said...

Melissa, I truly hope and pray that this sad time will pass.
Thinking of you!

KC said...

I went through a similar event over 10 years ago. For me I needed to take the time to grieve and to heal. The darkness, sadness and bleakness of it all does pass. It seems impossible at the time that life can once again be ok but it will be. Even now I look back at that time with a tinge of sadness and loss but it doesn't overwhelm me any more.

Take your time and, when you're ready, you will start to see the joy and beauty of life again.

Stephanie said...

Hugs to you....

Christine said...

I had back to back miscarriages between my third and fourth daughters...one baby who died at 16 weeks...a girl --and another at 6 weeks--a blighted ovum. It was a sad time. The second time was even more shocking. I couldn't believe it happened twice! I never got answers...it's a hurt I will always carry in my heart and an ache in my womb that I won't ever forget. You aren't alone...just wanted you to know.

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