Thursday, July 12, 2012


Why is it so hard to connect?  We have facebook, twitter, texting, and cell phones that might as well be attached to our body, but yet it still remains so difficult to actually connect.  At least that's true for me.  Maybe every one of you has a rock solid friend you can call at the drop of a hat or a group of girlfriends that meets up once a week regardless of what is going on in their lives.  Or maybe you're a little bit like me...a little bit on the periphery.

My main group of girlfriends were friends with each other long before I entered the group.  I'm the only one who has a child.  I'm the only doesn't live in NY (I only live in NJ, but still).  I'm still part of their group and I still consider them friends.  But there's a lot of things that I can't do.  Like anything that takes place last minute.  During the school year, I can't come to their apartments at 9pm to hang out for an hour.  During the summer I probably could, but by then no one really asks me anymore because I'm an assumed "no".  It used to make me sad, but not anymore...I get it.  I'm a friend, but one on the outskirts.

I can always count on my work friends for camaraderie and I see them obviously everyday and we try to make an effort to get together outside of work as often as we can.  But it's summer now and, even though we still talk and hang out, it's different and the lack of connection between my groups of friends has me a bit on edge.

There's a lot of change going on in my life right now.  Moving, buying a house, gearing up for ttc again and I'm a little unnerved by all of it and I'm craving a bit of a connection with my girlfriends.  It's making me feel a bit isolated and maybe by the end of the summer I'm going to have a new house and fill it with like 50 cats so I won't feel lonely.
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mtendere said...

I get it. I've lived in a new state for 6 years now and I've had a hard time finding people here that I really connect with. I realize that it's largely my own fault for not reaching out more, but it's still hard. There are times you'd just like to hang out with a good friend and when you don't have one nearby, it makes you feel lonely, even when you have lots of people who love and care about you.

Tara Lotufo said...

I speak to my girlfriends a lot too but do not see them as much as I would like to...this is what happens!

Don't become a crazy cat woman!! LOL

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Girl, you are not alone! I often feel lonely, too. My work girlfriends are pretty much my besties these days, but we don't hang out much outside of the office. Girl time is crucial for our sanity. Wanna move across the country so we can hang out? ;-)

misssrobin said...

Skip the cats; they get hair on everything. I can't wait until we don't have pets anymore.

I'm sorry you haven't found the friend that fits right now. Again, it's the transition thing. It takes a while. I do believe it will happen. And it will be wonderful when it does.

Until then, I guess you'll have to settle for cyber-friends. I hope it helps.

Jo said...

It can be tough, especially if you are the only one for a kid/s. Or if you live a bit too far away for those impromptu meet-ups.

Hope you find a friend or two who fits into your life and lives close by.

The Solley Five said...

This picture is adorable. I know what you mean about becoming an 'assumed no' with your friends. I have become totally pushy and obnoxiously whiny at times and insisted my friends go out (in the summer, or when it works) once in a while. I'm now 'likely no' but once in a while I'm gung ho and you know those nights are sure to be fun.

Farrah Udell said...

I've totally been there. (Often still am.) My husband works crazy hours, so nights out with the girls are almost never a possibility. It's been hard, but worth the effort to find ways to make new mom friends, and to get creative at keeping in touch with old ones. These ladies are lucky to have you in their group!

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