Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Getting Right With Yourself

The past few weeks have been very stressful.  House hunting, living with my parents, adjusting to the summer, saving money, TTC and the fear that comes with that.  It's a lot and there have been more than a few times when the darkness has threatened to take over.  There have been a few nights where I've tossed and turned for hours, my body exhausted, but my brain racing over the "what-ifs" and "worst cases".  I've been really up and down and I've been having a lot of anxiety.

But at some point you just need to get right with yourself. There's not a terrible amount that I can do to change any of my situations.  I keep looking for houses, saving money, having baby making sex.  There's a lot that I just have to surrender to.  That's a lot easier said than done.  However, I really think I just needed to get right with myself.

Sitting around and sulking and drowning my sorrow in cheap cabernet is fun on the same level as listening to "My Heart Will Go On" on repeat after your 9th grade boyfriend breaks up with you (true story) is fun, but it was about time to shake the cobwebs off my sorrow and get a grip on myself.

So I do what I always do when I feel restless and dissatisfied.  I try and sit and meditate and say some positive affirmation and really just change my thinking.  Worrying really is pointless.  Everything works out in it's own divine way and time.  I really believe that.  And a friend told me a story about an arrow getting pulled down so that it could be launched into something greater.

Only bright skies and happiness for our future trajectory.

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Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Lately I find myself also falling into a black pit. However, unlike you I really don't have a reason or an excuse. I've also been tossing and turning a lot lately at night - my mind racing, stressing out about stupid things. Pulling yourself out of a funk is SO much easier said than done. What has been helping me is learning from my kids - trying to see life through their eyes. It puts things in perspective. I just wish a handful of jelly beans could bring me as much happiness as them (ok, maybe sometimes it does). Hang in there girl.

misssrobin said...

I'm sorry your world has been so dark. It's easy to get comfortable there and just snuggle down in deeper.

It sounds like you're ready to move past that. I wish you a speedy recovery. Until then, be kind to yourself. You've been through a lot. It's okay to feel exhausted by life and take things a little slower. You are still wonderful and powerful and strong and important. May you find moments of peace and joy as you find yourself again.

Stefani said...

I'm sorry that things have been difficult lately, and while my circumstances are pretty different - I've come to the same type of 'a-ha' moment... there just comes a point when enough is enough. I always think of the quote "You never know how strong you are until strong is the only option you have." And I think it really applies - we will get through this rough patch and come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and better equipped to deal with whatever life throws our way.

There is a [long] piece of writing that I read over and over again [much like listening to 'My Heart Will Go On'] when life isn't going how I planned - it was given to me by a friend years ago and I don't know who the author is but I do know that reading it helps me refocus my energy. Like I said, it's long - but so worth the read. Hugs to you my friend - it's a shame we don't know each other IRL, I think we'd have a lot to talk about. Take care!! <3

Danielle said...

I have been awful at reading/commenting on blogs lately and decided today was the day to change that. Before clicking on your blog I had just finished watching my first meditation video because I have been feeling a bit anxious lately....and it's summer break! It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there who feels like this at times. I love the picture of the saying you posted. My mom has that quote at is so true. Wishing you a great day! Thank you for your post!

Stefani said...

I'm glad it helped you too :) it is kind of my anchor piece of writing when things get to be too much... Link away my dear :)

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