Thursday, July 5, 2012

Living With Your Parents as an Adult

While we look for a house our family of three is shacking up with my parents.  This is not nearly as fun as you think it would be.  It's crowded.  We're on top of each other.  It's chaotic.  There's little to no organization.  There are power struggles.

We've been here about a week and so far I've gotten into two blow ups with my mother.  I sent an e-mail to my realtor asking if we could up the number of houses we look at from 6 at a time to 8 because we're inching closer and closer to a homicide in this house.

If you find yourself in this situation, whether because of real estate, work, the economy, whatever...I have some tips to help you survive.

1.  Stock up on alcohol.  The only thing that makes hearing your father fart at 2am bearable is being too drunk to care.

2.  Whenever you are using the bathroom, showering, or changing make sure as all hell that you are in a locked room.  Bring everything you need into that room so you're not making embarrassing panty runs in a towel at warp speed.

3.  Get out at often as possible.  I'm lining up play dates and going to the gym like it's nobody's business so I can get a little distance.

4.  Bite your tongue.  Bite it bloody if you have to.  I never realized how nasty my mother is to my father or how beyond passive aggressive she is or how she'd rather sit and stew and then pretend everything is "fine" the next day because it's too uncomfortable to have an honest conversation without resorting to sarcasm or passive aggressive behavior to the extreme.  It's become really unfun to be around her and I'm not one to not call her out on her shit, but I'm really trying hard on this one because it's not my house and she's doing me a big favor.

5.  Keep in mind the reason that you're there.  For us it's giving us a big financial boost to not be paying a mortgage so that we can recover a bit from the financial bath we took when we sold our house.

But really...trust me on the alcohol.
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9 comments:

Tara Lotufo said...

Ohhh Melissa!!! I feel for you girl!!!

This post will keep me smiling all day!

Look at the bright side of the situation- your body will be in tip top shape when all is said and done!

Lots of luck to you!! Hang in there.

bailey j said...

I live with my parents. I am 21 though and and it is bad enough at 21. I can only imagine the struggle as someone who is married with a child and used to their own home and their own routine and space!

My rents have had a child at home for almost 35 years now and it is time for them to be on their own, lol. Most times of the year I'm traveling but I come home in the summer for free rent and money making.. I will be happy to leave come October!

Best of luck pushing through it, I guess we both have to remember its the right choice but not always the fun choice.

Karen Greenberg said...

My family lived with my parents for six weeks while we were between homes. I agree stocking up on the alcohol is a great idea! Of course, then I would have been questioned about why I was drinking so much.... LOL
Actually, it wasn't terrible living with my parents, but there definitely need to be rules and understandings. I pretty much spent my time at work and in my bedroom. I would do it again, but your post did remind me of all the hard parts I tried to ignore. Let's remember this when our kids move back in with us in 30 years!

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

HA HA HA! I'm so sorry, I would probably shoot myself if I had to live with my parents again. But ya know what, when you get into your new house it is just going to feel THAT MUCH BETTER. :-)

Bee said...

I haven't had to do it, but everything you wrote made me laugh out loud for real. I hear you on the passive aggressive mother too ; )

Abdur Razzak said...

We start off early watching television and then envisioning our American dream. As a child, we play with our babies, doll houses, and writing in our diaries. We start at the tender age of 4 or 5 looking for our prince charming to marry. Over time, we replace our crushes of princes and other Disney characters with real boys. Sometimes it is the boy that sits next to you in class or a movie star. Either way, it is getting you ready for that all important task called LOVE.........
http://www.richlymiddleclass.com/parenthood

Thanks

Tammy said...

Haha, great post! Sorry you're having to live with the 'rents for now, but as someone else said, you'll have a rockin' bod spending all that time at the gym! Great advice. (BTW, what's up with the guy above me...his comment? Must be Spam...) Hoping you guys find a house SOON!

Lindsey said...

We are so there with you! We moved in with our folks about 2 months ago to save money for a down payment and I am done!! We have my mom, dad, and two teenage siblings here as well as DH, me, a 2 year old, and a 10 month old. A non-childproofed house and power struggles out the rear! And we are potty training/taking away the binky and weaning the baby! It's hard!

misssrobin said...

When our first was about 1 my husband lost his job and was unable to find one for several months. We were very poor and not sure what our next move was. We spent time living with both sets of parents. We made it six months with mine but only six weeks with his. Once you've moved out, it's just so tough to go back.

Best wishes during this time. Remember the patience I mentioned in my comment on your last post? Yeah, you're going to need it.

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