Thursday, August 2, 2012

Being Alone

I'm alone a lot and it's starting to wear on me.  It fills me with feelings of anxiety that weren't there before.  It's like when I'm alone I can't get motivated to do anything by myself:  day trip, going to the gym, cleaning, cooking whatever.

It's actually starting to fill me with dread the days I know that Andy will be gone all day or all night and my parents aren't around and it's just me and Isabella and hours and hours to fill.  Forget it if it's raining and I'm stuck inside, you might as well just cart me off to the looney bin.

It's actually starting to worry me a bit, my reaction to this because being alone is such a part of my life that I need ways to deal with it. Usually I just jam pack the day with play dates and day trips and crafts and baking, but sometimes that gets completely exhausting and it's like coordinating a mini-wedding and a lot of times other moms bail out and then you're stuck with a completely empty and terrifying day.

I don't sit well with just being at home alone.  I never have.  I hate being alone.
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7 comments:

bailey j said...

I think knowing how to be alone, and even enjoying your time alone is important. I've always liked having time to myself, I would have to be extremely alone for a long period of time before it really got to me. So I have no idea what to tell someone who struggles with it, I wish I had some wisdom for you!

Ashley said...

I think there is a big difference between being alone and being alone with a child(ren) to watch. I love being alone. I sometimes hate being alone for extended time (like a week or more) with the kids. I have 3 under the age of 6 and I love them to pieces but I find it is much much easier to do the work of taking care of them when I'm not all alone day after day and meal after meal.

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

I agree with Ashley. I enjoy being alone alone, just not alone with my kids. Ha! I think this is fairly normal. (I hope?) You will be back at work soon, right? That should help you feel better. I think I would die if I didn't have some escape from home. In the mean time, try to stay busy and take it one day at a time. I feel your pain.

Kristin Leamy said...

I think being alone with children takes practice. I still wonder what to do when I have more than just an evening alone with my daughter. I feel this urge to do EVERYTHING with her, but like you said, it's exhausting.

<3 I hope you can find a balance, and rest during those times!

BusyMomofTwins said...

I know how you feel and it is a tough feeling. Last summer I was alone a lot, and carless. My husband worked a lot and I was home with my infant twins who refused to play outside. So, I bought a new stroller and just started walking and walking and walking. But I still felt alone.
It is hard when you are alone with kids. Have you tried doing activities like music classes, or little gym. That always made me feel better. Or, calling a friend. Setting up a support network can really help too.

Jane said...

Do you make time to do things with your girl friends? Just having some girl time once a week might give you something to look forward to. Maybe you could swap kids with a friend so you can get out of the house and do a little shopping even if it's for a few hours.

I'm a 2nd grade teacher. I don't regret working when the kids were young. When you have young children, every day is a long day to fill with activities (especially when they're not long nappers.)

Take time for yourself. It will make a big difference!

mtendere said...

I think it's like most anything - the more you do it the more you get used to it and figure it out. You'll be alright :) Great advice here, of course, but some of it is just the normal discomfort of transition to the unfamiliar. Should make for some good blog posts, too!

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