Friday, August 31, 2012

On Being Open

If I were just meeting you in real life, I'd probably be very shy and very guarded.  I don't, or can't, open up to people unless we're good friends, I trust them, and/or they make me feel comfortable.  I'm fairly private when I'm with new people in real life.

However, on this blog and with my closest friends, I really have no filter.  Like none.  I write and discuss poop, vaginas, miscarriage, sex, trying to have a baby, fertility, money and whatever else pops into my head whether it's appropriate or not.

The other night I was at my friend Crotch's for her apartment warming party and I'm not sure if I was teetering on the brink of drunkeness or because I hadn't seen my girlfriends in a while or because it was the first time I was out of the house at night without Isabella in like 3 weeks, whatever it was it inspired me to have verbal vomit about everything that was going on in my life: when I'm taking a pregnancy test, about my parents marriage, books I'm reading, boudoir pics, how there's no graceful way to get to the bathroom after sex and anything and everything that popped into my head.  Which I would have talked about all of those things anyway, and I've certainly talked those things to death on here, but usually I might space it out so I didn't monologue all night.

But it got me to I share too much?  I've definitely received a few e-mails in my blogging life that criticized me for being so honest.  Especially after the post where I called my daughter an asshole (whatever, sometimes kids are just assholes).  And I've been cautioned to keep somethings private.

Now I know everyone has different comfort levels.  I know that many people aren't comfortable sharing the dark moments of their lives and that's fine, but I also know that many people are.  And more than that, many people need to hear about your experiences.  So if reading about my miscarriage makes you feel less alone when you're going through yours then that's wonderful.  If laughing at me because I can't manage to make my child eat anything green makes you feel like a rock star parent, then good for you.

I wish all women, especially close friends, would all employ a non holds barred approach with each other.
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Jo said...

Great post! It's true it sometimes is easier to say things on your blog cause the people reading is are 'stranges' and you don't have to look them in the eye.

I also think that your real close friends should be people you can talk to and who can talk to you, about anything and everything!

Hey, sometimes I'm an ass to my kids and sometimes they are real asses but no mater what I'll always will love them. Just like you will always love Isabella!

Have a great weekend!

h_esquire said...

Write your blog for you, whether that means no holds barred or keep a few things to yourself. If it's meant to be cathartic, only you know how much sharing will provide that catharsis. Just keep writing!

Unknown said...

I read yet never comment but must!
1) its your blog. Write whatever the fu!k you want to about whatever
2) it is on the internet for your family, friends, foes, future employers and children to one day find and read. If you dont want it read, discussed or published in a newspaper then write in a journal a-la-old school.
In the US we have freedom of speech. It is a beautiful thing that we should not take for granted, and heated conversations and criticism is part of that.
Don't filter your thoughts because of a few critical readers- more likely than not it just hit too close to home. They can read a different blog if it is just too offensive to manage.

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Love you! You're just saying what everyone else is thinking girl! & this is your little corner of the internet to do whatever you want with - people have a problem with that, then they can go somewhere else. It's not like you're taping peoples eyelids open and forcing them to read your writing. Sheesh.

I wish I could be as open as you!

Haley Bartlett said...

I LOVE honest people probably because I am one of them. I often spew things out of my mouth that aren't appropriate. It has gotten me in trouble before but hey it is what it is.

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