Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Child You Want vs. The Child You Have

When I was pregnant with Isabella I had a vision of who my daughter would be, she would love clothes and makeup, we'd have tea parties, she would play with her dolls, she'd read books in her bedroom, she'd be such the little lady...just like I was.  The child of that vision never came to fruition, Isabella is all running, climbing, jumping, hiding the hair brush, forget dolls or playing independently.  She's completely and utterly her own person.

But honestly, and I'm being very honest here, sometimes the child who she is grates on my last nerve.  It drives me nearly to the point of insanity that this child, for the life of her, will not play by herself.  She follows me around the house like a puppy.  Even if we're in the same room it's not enough, I have to be sitting on the floor with her or playing puppy or with the kitchen.  It drives me batty.  I understand that I'm her mother and it's my job to play with her, but not all day long.  I played pretend kitty in her kitchen with her for 2 hours the other day and she pitched a fit when I was done.  She has no independence and it really bothers me.  I wish sometimes that she was more like other kids and would be willing to play by herself sometimes.

She's also not affectionate at all.  She never wants to give hugs and kisses.  She'll blow you a kiss or give you a high five and that's about it.  I always had this vision in my head of goodnight/goodbye hugs and kisses and she's just not feeling that at all.

I love the water.  I love the pool.  I love the beach.  I love to swim.  Isabella loves the pool as long as she's in swimmies, but the beach, the sprinklers and even the damn garden hose freak her the hell out.  She'll go in the ocean to her ankles and then completely loses her shit if you try to take her in any further.

We get to chose many things about our children while they're young...their clothes, their play dates, their bedtimes, what they eat, where they go to school, but there's so much about them that we can't choose and so many things I'm sure we'd change if we could.  But we can't.  So the best we can do as parents is to love the child that we have instead of trying to turn them into the child we wanted.
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mtendere said...

So true! My girl is not affectionate either. Thet best cuddles are when we're reading a book. She does play a lot by herself, though. I'm not sure how we made that happen, but I have noticed that it's becoming less and less as she gets older, so maybe it's partially the age and will get better for you :)

And yes, these kids really do have minds and personalities and opinions of their own. Sometimes it is awe inspiring to see them becoming their own little people and sometimes it's just maddening.

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