Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Not my confessions, I actually don't think I have any good, juicy confessions right now.  But I did find a bunch of people who do.  If you've already been reading Scary Mommy's confessions for, like, ever and are all like "Get with the program Melissa."  I'd have to yell at you for not telling me sooner.  I am seriously addicted to that site.

Sometimes the confessions make me giggle.  Sometimes they make me really sad.  Sometimes they disgust me.  Sometimes they make me say, "omg me too!" and sometimes they make me feel a whole lot better about myself.

Let's dissect some.

The funny ones:

"It sucks to realize someone unfriended you on FB, only when FB suggests that you add them as a friend."

I think a lot of us can relate to that and it is kind of funny.

"I just started a change jar toward saving for a tummy tuck and vaginoplasty. $0.07+, only down $19,999.93. Looks like I'll be one hot looking grandmother one day. FML"

One hot granny with a sexy new vagina bwahahahaha

"Masterbating after h went work cause I don't want to fuck a fat man who decided it would be cool to stop shaving everything. If its hairy I'm not touching it."

Ok, this is sucky for her, but hilarious for me to read.  Shave it off fat man!

The sad ones:

"I have to lose at least thirty pounds so I dont get the "you need to lose weight" talk again form my dad at thanksgiving. and fifty by christmas so i can actually be in the picture this year. my oldest is 1o and havent yet"

I hate to think of anyone being belittled or feel so ashamed of themselves that they exclude themselves from family events.  It makes me sad to think that when this woman looks in the mirror she hates what she sees.

"We are broke, and the next paycheck is going to cover all of our overdue bills. Since I have been to sick to work for a week. That means eating crackers and water for dinner again for a week. HATE seeing my son cry!"

This breaks my heart.  If there was some way to know who this woman is I would send her groceries.  There are so many posts like this, that it makes me sick to my stomach that so many families in this country have to go hungry.

"I tried to kill myself tonight, I failed at that have spent the last hour puking up what I swallowed and my LO came in sleepy eyed dragging his blankie and asked me if I wanted some water for my bellyache, FML"

This is so very, very sad.

The weird sex ones:

"I think I might be falling in love with the guy my husband and I are sleeping with right now. Problem? He's married. I want them to break up so we can make him our third."

Wait!  What?  I don't understand...if you're both sleeping with him, isn't he already a third?  And fyi, there are apparently a bunch of devil's threeways going on.  For some reason, when I think of married people having threeways it's always 2 chicks.  Guess I'm just old fashioned.

"BF dared me to put fruit in my vejayjay for him to eat...all I can think of is getting a yeast infection from the sugar. Thanks honey, but I think you can eat fruit from a bowl and not my p@ssy! SMH"

LOL!  People are weird.  I feel her concerns.  Gives new meaning to the term, sour grapes.

"My lover said he dreams of suckling me. So I encouraged him and today he sucked me and made my breasts leak even though I haven't nursed for 12 years. It was erotic and intimate as hell and I want to do it more."

So what leaked?  I feel like I'm missing some big part of the equation with this one.

The ones that make me feel better about my life:

"Dh will read some blurb on the internet and thinks that makes him an expert on the subject. So annoying and embarrassing."

Andy doesn't read so I never have to worry about this ;)

"Sometimes I fucking hate my husband. He's so great to everyone else. Everyone thinks I'm married to a great guy because he's mr. wonderful in public but he's really a huge asshole."

It makes me so upset that there are so many, and I mean tons of confessions from women, who hate their husband and are miserable in their marriage.  Many of them hate their children and life in general.  I'm sure many of them are written in one of those moments that we all get from time to time, but I hate to think that so many people are that depressed with their life.

The ones that make me say "OMG me too!":

"I am so depressed...worked out all month and actually the same weight as when I started. Sweating, panting, and everything. This sucks!"

So frustrating riiiiiight?

"I now understand why people say....I like MY kids...and dislike everyone else's!!"

Well, not everyone else's, but many of them!  While I'm sure mine never annoys anyone because she's just so epically awesome.

"I think Michelle Duggar is freaking crazy."

Anyone who has that many children willingly has to be nuts.

I've never confessed anything on the site, but it has become quite the time suck.  I think it's wonderful that there's a judgement free place to confess what weighs heaviest on you.  Keep confessing ladies.  And if you're really that miserable with your life that you're thinking of ending it...please get help.  There's no shame in it.
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Madonna said...

There was another site that was similar, True Wife Confessions, that I used to read. Thankfully none of them were as sad as a mother trying to kill herself and her child finding her, but there are some truly hilarious ones and ones that made me feel better about my relationship with DH.

The one about the mom breaks my heart. Yes, get help!

Kristin Leamy said...

I had no idea that existed! wow, it really is addicting reading all those.

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