Thursday, January 10, 2013

Your Pregnant Body

I know that pregnant woman are supposed to be this glowing mess of beauty and many women are described as "glowing" "cute" and "lovely" during their pregnancy.  But I'm here to set the record straight and call bullshit on any woman who says she feels the most beautiful and sexy during pregnancy.



(I don't look like that)

First of all, I have veins in my leg that could rival an 80 year olds.  I'm serious.  The spider veins and varicose veins in my right leg are so bad that I'd be embarrassed to wear a dress, so I'm lucky it's winter.  I'm also lucky that their exists such a profession as "Vein Doctor" because I will be seeing one the day after I deliver.  If you have any vein vanishing experience please please let me know.

Then there's the expanding of your hips, thighs, and ass.  I refuse to believe that I'm the only pregnant woman to experience this phenomenon.  I'm sure there are a few here and there who only carry in their belly and I hope those women get crabs.  Even though my weight gain has been reasonable, I'm still widening and I'm generally not a fan of that happening.

I haven't gotten stretch marks, but I've seen them and they are a disgusting product of pregnancy.

Then there's the huge, squishy boobs.  I was big before I got pregnant (36DD) and I didn't grow at all with Isabella, but this time I'm growing forward and out.  I could see this being a perk if you were smaller, but for big chested gals it just looks too, I don't know, smooshy.  And my nipples are the size of saucers.

The skin on my face is either lovely and clear or riddled with zits.  I can't keep up and half the time I'm too tired to even wash it properly.

Some women get thick, lovely, shiny pregnancy hair.  Not me.  Mine is limp and dull as ever.  But don't worry the rest of my body is picking up the slack as my stomach has a fuzzy coating and the hair on my legs grows back before I've even put the razor down.

Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of the pregnant body or it's hormones.

4 comments:

Jo said...

Would it not be great if we could airbrush ourselves in real life?

Christa aka The BabbyMama said...

I loved the thick hair... and hated the boobs. I started as a big D and it's now at the point where I just wear nursing tanks and sports bras for dance? Real bras? Ha!

Ashley Cruz said...

Keeping it real, I love it! So often people lie to you about pregnancy and what to expect.

At least you get a beautiful baby at the end right. :)

The Dose of Reality said...

Good for you for being honest about what it is REALLY like! Love it!

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